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I recently found out I like girls too and it was all because of you. We talked for hours, you asked me if I was gay or if I had gay apps, I wondered why. I told you I was straight but that was a lie, after meeting you and feeling all the attraction I realized what I am. I’ve done things with girls in the past, I’ve always been attracted to them. It just all clicked when we met. I wanted you and still do, I got drunk and spilled my feelings for you a week after we’ve been texting nonstop. You never told me if you liked girls too, but I just felt like you were flirting with me. After I spilled my feelings for you you told me you only wanted to best friends.
I was heartbroken that night and I cried, but I still wanted you in my life. So I have to learn to put my feelings to the side.
A week passes, we are still texting daily. It’s hard to not like you, how could I not? You’re amazing beautiful kind funny and you love my fav band. We have undeniable chemistry i have never met anyone like you. I like you so much. I called out to go out with you and that night we both got drunk.
We danced, we kept getting closer, you danced on me and put my hand on your body. We held hands a couple of times. The whole night you wouldn’t stop telling me how pretty I am. Then you asked me if you could kiss me. I said not rn but then while we were waiting in line and we were holding each other and looking into each others eyes, we shared a magic moment I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
Idk if it was because I was drunk, but in that moment you looked so unreal. You were smiling at me and you even tilted your head and the lights from up above were purple/blue and you looked so magical. I swear the colors were blending with you idk if it was your aura or something but it’s like you were glowing. And in that moment i told you, “okay you can kiss me now” and you said “really?” And I nodded. And we made out and it was hot. I’ll never forget that kiss.
And the rest of the night I was elated, I think I was excited bc I thought you liked me back. We were just having fun the rest of the night. At the after party we went to the bathroom together. Before entering we were waiting in line and you told me you would eat my *****, I don’t remember my response but I was surprised. We went in the bathroom and you looked at me and told me I was so hot.
And then on the way home you called your ex boyfriend. You were drunk saying you how he hasn’t been good to you, but then you said you needed him for rent. That’s how I found out. It’s your new apt and I’m so sad he’s moving in with you. And that’s how I found out you lied to me, you told me you’d be living w your sis and her bf. well maybe you didn’t lie and your plans changed but anyway, all my hopes and dreams were crushed.
Why kiss me, if you know you don’t want me. Any time I show you affection you follow it up by saying “I just wanna be your bestie”
It sucks youre friend zoning me and even though the kiss was great, it hurts me. Like why get my hopes up. Ever since that day I texted you like normal but then you became more dry. I am now pulling away. If I don’t text you you don’t even text me. It ducks so much.
Rn all I have hopes for is that we can still be best friends. we have so much fun together I wouldn’t want you to leave my life. I’m okay with not being romantically involved but now I’m just afraid you’ll leave like everyone else. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough.
This year has been the worst, my bf of 5 years left me, my best friend of 12 years left me, the guy i was talking to for 3 months left me, the new friend I made left me, and now you’re leaving me too????
It just makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Why does everyone leave ? Why am i not good enough.
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People come and go, but it's the memories they left for you to remember. Maybe they left because they don't deserve you (In a good way, please don't feel offended) or you don't fit their expectations which is totally fine. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I guess you have to carry on untill you see someone worth your trust and time, and someone that accepts who you truly are.
Replythank you for this, I needed to hear this
ReplyI feel for you. I pray you find the people who truly have your back and are trustworthy. They are few. I was ghosted by my best friend of 13 yrs a month ago and it still hurts.
ReplyIm sorry about your best friend, I’m sure you will find someone new who never makes you doubt their loyalty to you.
Reply