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we’ve been together for a while now. me and my boyfriends been arguing a lot recently, we haven’t been acting as lovey dovey as we used to when we first got together, i guess we still try to be. although he told me that ever since our first real argument he’s stopped being as lovey. i feel like the sparks going away and he’s losing feelings for me.
last night he told me he has thought about breaking up in the past. i didn’t know how to feel about that or what to say to him.
i just woke up and i still feel like crying, i want to avoid him today. but he’s been trying to get int contact with me. i dont think i can speak with him normally again.
i still love him with everything in me and i know he does too. it’s just that things don’t feel like.. as it used to?
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I know.. you might be feeling bad or upset.. because he said that he had thoughts of breaking up with you.. while I have no idea how your relationship is going, other than the things you have mentioned here, let us look at this in a different perspective..
Your boyfriend had thoughts of breaking up with you.. but he valued the relationship more than a momentary thought, he valued it more than the phase you guys where going through. Everyone feels a little tired sometimes... People think of quiting thier job.. but it's not that they hate the job.. but it's the mental fatigue..
Relationships are pretty hard.. specially when you are serious and not jus hanging out with someone jus to pass time... And relationships, when they get rough, they also drain you mentally..and maybe your partner was passing through the same..
About the thing that you guys are not lovey dovey anymore.. it is the results of multiple fights..which where in vain.. You both have unresolved complaints from each other. You both fight over same things again and again.. without any conclusion.. without getting and validation for your feelings... You both probably have some requirements that where not met..
Maybe you guys can really sit together.. and forget that there were any differences among you guys.. jus sit and listen to each other.. try to maybe figure out what the his need that you could not fullfill.. and maybe say him which of your need where not met... It cud be as simple as making each other's feel that their feelings are valid.
Let us say.. you have a fight today..you guys fight for a long time without any conclusion and then you guys go to sleep.. maybe 2-3 days later.. you forget about it and move on.. but the next time you guys fight.. the unhealed fights gets triggerred again.. and it's keep stacking up until one you realise that it has built a wall between you both.. where you don't understand him and he does not understand you..
Jus sit together and work it out..
I hope you guys work it out.. and that you guys realise.. that it's not you v/s him.. but you and him v/s the thing that is ruining your relationship.
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