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I'm so lost and I can't help but keep comparing myself to others and I'd never imagine comparing myself to MY EX BSF. Like why be jealous of her when you know she's a backstabbing bitch? I've also never been jealous of someone because of the things they had, usually it was just over yk like appearances and how pretty they were. Her father's doing multiple jobs just to afford all this but then again I wish my dad made that amount of money so that he could gift us with the latest electronics and shoes. Her family is so nice, she's even got a sister and I've longed for a sister ever since I was 6. My parents are just ugh and don't even get me started on my brothers, I dont even talk to them. One of them actually DISGUSTS me, he's raped someone before and my parents dismissed it, he's so negative towards my parent's company/work and ITS JUST LIKE CAN U SHUT UP?? I DONT WANT ANYMORE NEGATIVE MESSAGES BEING SENT TO MY PHONE WHEN IM TRYNA SLEEP. How the hell is he my mum's favourite? Just because he looks MORE LIKE HER??? Gosh, some people. I'm just feeling drained and schools about to start again and I js feel like shit. Worst thing of all is that I have to go to school AND come back from school with my ex bsf and her sister. Ma says it's to "keep the friendship going" but the friendship died years ago, so what more is there to keep? "Oh we'll wait for them to say they don't want u to go to school together w them" IVE BEEN WAITING TOO LONG. Then again I'm scared, yk when u cut someone off and see them everywhere? I feel like that'll happen as soon as we stop going school 2gther. Please someone help, I hate the way I feel, I dont wanna be a person consumed by jealousy but I can't help it.
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Heyy there!!
Ngl I don't wanna be bitch about things, but comparing yourself to others ain't doing any good to you, in fact it's actually just hurting you. Look around babes, we all compare each other but deep down we're not getting shit out of it, other than beating ourselves down to be that perfect girl or guy or wtv. I want you to understand that things may look fine on the outside but you never know what goes on inside, even with those around us. Okay, your ex best friend was a backstabbing bitch and now you're jealous of her or was always, I was like that too. But the more you grow as a person you learn to understand that it's all about you wanting to be favorited by others more than wanting their body, their hair, their face etc. It's *what* you realize and *when* you realize and grow as your own person you'll learn to love yourself in a way that it doesn't matter what anyone really says because you love yourself at that point. It could be the worst people telling you terrible things but the way that you have found yourself and taught yourself to be loved that stops you from caring about what others say, you learn to fall in love with yourself and teach you that someones always gonna bring you down, there'll always be someone who hopes for the worst to others but for them they're not going anywhere, you're gonna learn to love yourself and how to treat your own appearance with love. I can give you a bit of advice that I had done. I took a jar, and on the outside of the jar I took a paper, you could take paper, post it, wtv you want that you could write on, and you'll write, "Everyday I'll write what I love about myself for a year". For some that's pathetic and stupid, but they haven't even tried it out so I don't get why they're judging. But anyways, in the jar...everyday... you will take a paper and say what you love about yourself and maybe even what you're struggling with and fold it up and put it in the jar, you're not gonna open it tmrw, you're leaving it in there for a whole year, if the jar gets full find another object or a jar that could help you fill it up. And at the end of the year, read it all. You'll see some harsh words about yourself but then you'll also see words that'll make your day even better. You learn to look at those words and understand how much you have changed. And you're not gonna stop here, repeat until you finally learn to love yourself.
Now as for your family.. You say wish your dad could make that amount of money for gifts and all that. I know sometimes you're family can be complicating, frustrating and the reason you fall apart with yourself, but I want you to know they'll be the people who will support you for the rest of your life, your friends come and go, but family they stay till the end, you can yell, scream, tell them they're worthless, everything but they will still stay. They might not tell you they love you enough, or at all but deep down they do. You're father not having all those jobs is maybe since he can't afford it or maybe he's given up to try, and that's when you come in and tell him he can do it. You talking about your father being less of a person it actually hits to someone because you never know what's happening and the fact you portray him as someone who can never be enough is disappointing. If you can bring your whole family down and say they suck, then you don't have a right to get mad at your mother for choosing your brother even after what he did.
Getting mad and upset at your parents for not having a sister is kinda stupid to be real. They can't decide that, and idk how old you are but if you're over 17 and talking like this, it's really dumb to be arguing about that. You got a brother/'s so be grateful for that even after what he did, okay it's disgust you, it disgust me too, but maybe he's learning to grow as a person even after what he did. Maybe, he's hoping someone will understand that what he did was wrong and genuinely feels sorry. You say that he's negative about your parents'work/company but then here you are making your father less of a person to you, saying he's not doing enough but what do you know about work? it gets hella difficult and calling your brother out for talking negative about your parents job, you ain't doing much of a nice job either, you're just as negative. You're more alike than you say.
Technically you don't have to listen to you're mom telling you to keep the friendship going, that's all up to you and you make your own decisions, clearly she doesn't really know what happened and if you inform her or tell her more about it maybe she'd understand and take it more seriously, even for some it may look like you're mom just wants you to get back into a friendship that has hurt you, no that's not true, because she probably knows you're still hurt about all this but even then she should be telling you that you can go find other friends even if it's hard you'll learn to find a find a friend who can treat you with respect and not go behind your back and talk trash. If you try and actually find someone, I wish you the best and hope they give you the respect you deserve/deserved ages ago. And yes! I totally understand with seeing them everywhere but the more you realize the more it'll hurt you. Act like you don't care till you actually stop caring. Because you'll notice them less when you learn to love yourself, learn to forget and lastly learn to move on.
No one ever knows how someone feels until they actually open up. You never know how your brother might feel after that incident. You never know how your ex best friend might feel even after what she did. You never know how much your dad is trying even after knowing it may look like he doesn't care. No one ever knows how you feel after you and your ex best friend stopped being friends. No one ever knows so we should all just learn to keep our mouths shut and keep others out of our mouths because at the end of the day it's just you with yourself.
I hope you understand and don't take it the wrong way, it's more about understanding and how you've portrayed yourself and others. Not everything is about how you feel and learning that can help you understand that i'm not trying to hurt your feelings but help you understand that you can't pick faults on others and make yourself feel like you've done nothing wrong, take this as advice and learn to pick yourself up and don't make yourself feel like you aren't good enough because you think your surrounding are too good. This is the real world babes, and if you can't understand now, you're gonna have a hard time in life.
Take care and please understand where i'm coming from and make this as a learning experience moving on. Best of luck to you!! Keep moving forward, ik you'll grow and learn. Have fun stranger, make the best of it!!! <<<333
ReplyTHANK UUUUUUUU <33 honestly opened my eyes, I rlly shouldn't be focusing on others so much tbf but thank u!! Have a good day/night β‘
Replyone thing I will say tho is that I didnt mean for it to sound like my dads not good enough, I'm grateful for what he's able to provide me and stuff but its js my mindset and thoughts get out of control and I shouldn't have compared him to anyone else's dad bc he's js trying his best to make ends meet so I AM thankful, as for my brother I dont think ill ever get over what he did honestly because I was the person he did it to. My mother has no right loving him and favouring him more than me and just forgetting about wht he did to me AT ALL, then proceeding to tell me it was my fault when I finally got the guts to tell her what my brother did to me?? Anyways, just wanted to clear up some stuff thank u tho <3
Replyheyyy there...AGAIN??
Ofc, I'm glad you didn't take it the wrong way ππ
Yes, I know your intentions weren't to make your dad sound bad, but sometimes you gotta appreciate what you have even if it doesn't look like its enough, really understand that it's enough to realize *THEY'VE DONE A LOT*. And that's great that you're grateful for what he's provided you, and sometimes we get out of hand and compare our family members to others but I know you don't actually mean it and you appreciate all that he's done for you and your family.
WAIT A MIN GURL. NVM GO BACK TO BEING RUDE TO THAT MF. You deserve better, but also maybe one day (maybe not now or soon) but whenever HE understands his mistakes, he'd apologize and one day you'd forgive him for his actions. And for your mom, truly she doesn't have a right to favor him and loving him because if my brother did this he'd be kicked out of the house. Anyways, I think your mom is so stuck up that she doesn't even bother trying to fix this and understand WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. And the fact that she's blaming you, gurl you have all the rights to get mad at her, thats so messed up of your mom and I hope she comes to her senses as well and realizes her mistakes as a mother.
Also thanks for clearing it up too!! And you're very welcome, I hope things get better <333
ReplyTHANK U SMM GIRLL π«ΆπΌπ«ΆπΌ
ReplyNah if you don't want to have a relationship with your brother that raped someone then you're 100% valid and no one can say anything to make you feel differently. I am sorry but going through stuff is no excuse. We're all a bit lost but to say he's trying to find himself is insane because most of us on here are depressed and need help, however none of us have thought to rape someone. Sorry i've been SA by my own brothers and when someone tries to excuse it, it makes my blood boil!!!! the other commenter had good advice about the other stuff but not about this. i'm also tired of hearing people make excuses for toxic family members, If they are toxic, treat you like shit and overall don't help you then you are valid in cutting thee off. I don't talk to my moms side of the family for that reason. At the end of they day you can do what makes you happy and what helps you. I hope things look better for you
ReplyTHANK U FOR CONSIDERING THAT <33
Reply