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I’m hurting silently
And smiling loudly
Reality feels more like a dream
I push back the emotions so I don’t scream
I’m scared to sleep because I see you in my dreams
I stay busy so I don’t have to feel
Feel the ripples in my stomach and the brokenness in my heart
It’s crazy because I’m so out of touch with reality
It feels as though you’re still here
I’m waiting by the phone
I can still smell your scent
I still see you and feel your presence in our children
I’ll be honest I’ve been angry with you for yrs so I couldn’t even let myself grieve you
I’m still forcing myself eat
It’s crazy because it was easier to move on while you were here
I can’t bare the presence of another man
I miss you
It’s crazy because in the mist of everything
I still loved you
I wish we could’ve communicated our differences
The last conversation we had before the fall out keeps replaying in my head I gave a mediocre response the answer to that question is
I never stopped loving you
I’ve been sick to my stomach since you left
I’ll be honest, I deleted all the memories from my phone being impulsive because I can’t take the memories
I’m not myself anymore
I’m drained I’m tired
I’m finally crying
Today I’m dealing with your death..
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