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By: WhosKxy
I cried again, not only because of My mother over piling my to do lists with critics but because of a video of a girl setting herself free and live life to it's fullest with a special person that was able to make her smile again after a tragedy with her brother happened, The song in the background was "White Ferrari" by Frank Ocean. Frank has a way of speaking to the soul into your inner thought through his music that made me realized of all I'm dealing with, a feeling of despair filled my heart and tears filled up my eyes, everyone in my household went blind and wouldn't notice how I looked they just didn't care. Instead, they continued to do what they were doing as I was waiting for someone to ask if I was ok; I got nothing. There was so many things going on in my life that left me to ask "What am I to people?" I'm high graded student, I help my mom the most I can just to be noticed on what I do wrong, and still hide my true emotion behind a smile. I try not to burden my friends with these details of my life. To top it all off, I'm the oldest child so it's my fault if the children aren't woken up to get changed and ready on time, My fault if they haven't done their homework etc etc. Basically everything is my fault and I try my hardest to not to complain but it gets overbearing sometimes.... all the time. So, when I can't speak up I cry on the low so that no one sees or hear, And I've grown to be able to act like I'm just fine afterwards so that no one suspects. But this time, I wanted to be noticed; I low key wanted them to hear and see me, I got nothing. I have an interview tomorrow for a job and they know nothing of it, I'll probably tell them tomorrow;I know they care about that cause it
involves me getting paid... But No, I'm keeping it for myself I want to use it to save for an apartment to move into when I turn 17 or 18. I need my space to live a better life for me and me only. Watch let's see how they deal with things in my absence I've already witnessed it a few times and their a complete and utter mess.
Pt 2 coming soon.
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i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this, it’s even worse when you see your friends have normal childhoods and if you try talk to them they don’t understand your pain. but i understand your pain. you don’t deserve a single bad thing that’s happened in your life. i truly hope you have a bright future and you have people that look out and care for you. i wish you all the best life has to offer 🫶🏼
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