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All I want to do is eat until I die. There's no real reason for me to continue dieting and exercising... all I'm doing is wasting time and energy.
I know that obesity is bad blah blah blah... but cakes, cookies, chips, fast food were always there for me. Those foods always made me feel better while people always found ways to treat me like shit and ignore me.
Would you rather have a wonderful cake or a family that ignores you?
Would you rather have a fulfilling teriyaki bento, or the constant reminder that you're not attractive enough to get a man?
I'm tired of exercising and basically starving myself to be seen and heard and loved... I'll choose food every time for now on!
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Hello there!
What you're going trough sounds sad and unmotivating. I understand why you are saying that food is your only comfort, but I'd like to add something to it:
You don't have to be skinny to be attractive. And you don't have to be attracive to get a man. If it helps, let me just add that you don't need a man to be a beautiful human.
Eating can indeed be addicting and bring confort, however, it can and will severely damage your mental health if done to much and when used as a consistent source of coping. What I'm saying is, it's okay to be tired of trying. But don't give up hope. I reccomend searching for other coping mechanisms, like doing somehting you like or something that hypes you up. Anything at all, as long as it's not physically nor mentally damaging.
I hope things get better soon. Please take care!
ReplyI've eaten emotionally too for the past 7 years, and it's kinda ruined my face for most of middle and high school. It's really easy to use food as comfort, especially when you don't get it from anyone else. What really helped me was noticing when I'm hungry vs when I'm bored and just want to eat something. Even if I give in, just notice the difference. Over time you have to start saying 'no' to yourself when you notice that feeling. Do you want a cookie because you're bored, or are you sad about something and ice cream would definitely make you feel better for a few minutes? That's exactly when you have to put a stop to it. It's really hard at first. I like to think of it as each time you say no you're logically one step closer to finally breaking free from binge eating, even if it feels pointless. Or try to imagine the guilt you feel after giving in, and doing your future self a favor by sparing them that feeling.
Also let me recommend something: don't diet, and don't stop eating the foods you like either. Why? Dieting doesn't work, because a "diet" is a break from normal eating habits and you just go right back to them after you're done. If you deprive yourself of certain foods, you just crave them even more than if you moderated them, and it just makes you resent yourself. It's not about WHAT you eat, it's about how much you eat and why. Also, environment is important. If you have no coping mechanisms besides food, that's what you're going to turn to every single time. Find something that makes you happy, make your life interesting, and generally don't use anything that offers an easy escape from reality because it just makes it worse. Good luck
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