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Hello, Welcome to my life. As a long story, I'll make it short for the reader.
I, Ave, am a 14-year-old Male in high school. I, being 14, have depression and terrible anxiety. Now if you're new to my whole life, I'll say it at the bottom on this amazing note.
I'm currently in a home I don't want to be in but I have to as I'm not of age to move out in my state. I have had many panic and anxiety attacks and it's not fun. I, being the little child I am, had been in a situation where I had talked to a therapist I had trusted. I had told them how I was having thoughts and had a plan for committing suicide.
I had emailed her a day after and instead of her, it was a different girl. She had been upset yelling at me saying "Do you know how disrespectful that is? the mental hospital/ward is for people who-" KEEP IN MIND IT A PROFENANAL "actually have something wrong with them." I am fine when people are like "You might not be able to make it in" but no, she said that.
I went home after we had called Crisis Mobile. I had gone to my friend's house and my dad called me yelling at me. I know why, I had posted on my Snapchat story (only had maybe 10 active people who CARE ABOUT ME. keep that in mind, it will come later) about how "I might not respond, might be going to the ward" and they thought that was wanting attention.
I can understand their point of view, but they didn't see mine. I had been screamed at, kicked out, my TV and PC monitor smashed, grounded, and my room trashed over me wanting to kill myself and venting online. They proceeded to respond with "I don't care if you told people who care about you, but don't just go posting it all on social media." Bro the only people on there ARE people who care.
I had to come back home after I had already found a house to stay at and had packed. The moral of the story is just don't be suicidal???
MY LIFE: (2 months ago)
So, I'm 14 years old and in high school, life should be easy, right? Well, that's wrong, I have had many deaths and tragedies in the past 5 years. Now not saying I had it rough but I also did, I had been moved into different houses where I was around smoking 24/7 so I was 2nd hand smoking as a child, and I didn't have a mother figure. I was born on 08/27/09, and I was about 6 months old when my parents got into a fight and fought over custody, but my father had won and here I am, I, as I said, don't wanna say I had it rough, but to some I did. My father had been with multiple people when I was growing up, so I had many moms. My father (33 at the time) had found an old friend of his, my new stepmom (who was 22 at the time and I will be addressing as "mother" and my biological mom as "mom".) As soon as she came in, she treated me as if I was her own, Yes, some might say that's what a stepmom is there for, but I strongly believe that it is a role to help if the husband/wife has a child, is just to make sure they go on the right path, not try to push how you think is right, and what they've been taught, can you see where I'm coming from? So they got married about 5 years ago, in 2018, and then after a little, My family started falling apart. Here's where the true story begins. In 2018, about 4 months after my Mother and my Father had gotten married, my uncle died in a drunk car crash. He had been ejected out of the window, and his head was crushed. I had gone there not too long after, and now thinking about it makes me sick, but his blood was still everywhere... In 2020 my mother had gotten pregnant and it was a girl, and I was very happy. After a little bit (6 months) it had been a stillborn. This was very rough as after I had gotten bullied for it a lot. now just a little bit after that my grandma (who took the role of mom for me) had passed away, not too long after my sister (Remi), my grandma(Marie) had been carried out of the house in a stretcher many times in 1 week, they would say she was fine, then she would have to leave again, balling her eyes out. This was very hard for little 10-year-old me to watch, but I had to. After all that had happened, I had gone into a dark deep depression, I was self-harming, contemplating suicide, and even almost committing suicide. I had been bullied one time about my (dead) grandma, and I had enough and beat the shit out of the said person, I got into trouble because it was at school, but my parents didn't yell at me, we just had a long talk about controlling my emotions. Now one thing I will never forget is the time my mother told me "Just get over it" in a snarky way staring me in my eyes, it hurt so much that I started crying, I haven't forgiven her till this day. I had thought about killing myself not too long ago, I haven't though because of people I know will be broken.
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