"To get the most out of your session, write as much as you like and don't worry about grammar or spelling mistakes."

my true thoughts are that I hate everyone. I hate when people make me feel like I'm a useless person even though my personality is to benefit you and make you the happiest person you can be, forget me and worry about you. Because if I care about myself I'm so egotistical about myself. If I believe I can do something, I am cocky. If I wear an overdressed outfit for myself, I am a pick me girl. It doesn't make sense. I can't be happy for myself? Since when? I was always taught to be proud of myself now I can't even do that. My biggest red flag is once you're my friend you'll always be my friend and I'll be the best to you even when you want the worst for me. You leave me for something bad that you did but I'll always accept you back in my life whenever you want. I care too much, and I wish I didn't. That's why people use me the most, but if I get angry, I'm a monster, I'm a bully, I'm all the worst things. I can't stand up for myself anymore because I'll look like the devil. If I date too many guys, I'm a slut. I've never lost my virginity, I'm a pussy. It doesn't matter what I do. Someone will say something bad, and I think I've finally realized that the reason people say these things is because they're jealous of our success. But hearing it from my family is the worst, that'll never make them proud, that I'm full of disappointment, and everything I say/do will never be good enough, I am meant to give them top scores, that's my only purpose. My mother and I argue everyday from 7 am to 10pm, I get yelled at for existing, for not doing good enough even though I'm always 10 points off a perfect score. I got 90's and that'll never be enough for her. 100's are the highest, what else should I do. She yelled at me so much since I fell asleep studying after not sleeping for 23 hours. And for the first time ever I had the guts to ask her "have I ever made you proud? Because you yell at me everyday, and every time you see me. What I can't make you happy? just say it. If this is the way to make me try harder, I'd rather just die since you make me feel even worse, what is this way of teaching? You're supposed to be my mom and encourage me but whatever I do NEVER satisfied you..?" and her response is "no" and I said "name one thing I did that made you proud?" she said "idk" and I said "what about me getting on the varsity team, what about 90's in school, what about cleaning up the whole house for you literally deep clean so when you woke up in the morning you can be relaxed, what about the times I helped our neighbor with the snow since they're both pretty old, what about when I carried all the groceries from the car and only me when you have other children, what about studied for a day straight just to make you happy... WHAT ABOUT ME ACHIEVING MY DREAM?..... NOTHING WILL EVER MAKE YOU HAPPY OR PROUD SO GUESS WHAT I GIVE UP." and she looked at me and slapped me. And we haven't spoken in 2 days.