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We met 5 years ago, but she's been friends with her boyfriend a lot longer than her and I have been friends. Her boyfriend and her started dating a year ago and the worst part is I think I'm in love with her. Her boyfriend knows me and I've always had that brother figure to her. I remember when I first saw her, and thought she was the prettiest girl I've seen in a while. The way she'd walk into a room and everyone would not only look because of her beauty but because of who she was, she always had her friends back or the people that meant a lot to her. She's opened up to me a lot more than she has with her boyfriend, and because of that reason I started to fall for her in a way I never thought I could. Her boyfriend lacked advice and she always told me that coming to me always made her feel better, I told her the same thing because she knew me more than anyone else...vice versa. She knew my ex-girlfriend and how things became rough when her and I broke up. She's helped me overcome a lot of things that I wasn't sure I was able to recover from. I remember wanting to die because my ex was my love. I had never been so attached to someone like that before but we ended on bad terms when I did some foolish things, I was terrible, I was changing and took it all out on her. I remember her getting so mad at me, the way we went to different colleges that at a point we'd meet up every time one was free. She was my everything and watching her leave was my biggest mistake because I always think about her too, she's always in a place in my heart and she moved on after a few years of being together, I couldn't even message her since she'd block me on everything. Now, I'm stuck in love with a girl who's already found the man of her dreams, the way she's scared to tell me about him knowing I'm sensitive about relationship because of my ex, I want her to tell me so I let her, but the more she tells me the more I wish it was her and I. I want her so bad, that I'm silently crying because she wouldn't text me that day. I don't know what to do with myself or just anything because I love her, and she'll never know how much I care for her and want her to be mine.
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Your feelings are very much poetic and valid. I might not have all the answers for you, but I do know that sometimes things don't happen the way we expect them at the moment. But oh boy life has a way for rewarding us. The kind of love you are capable of feeling is a blessing and a curse. The right people will continue to fall in. This will continue to fall into place. Be genuine and make art about it :)
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