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so I went on a few dates with this guy who is quite a bit older than me and last night we ended up at his house and we did everything together and I mean like everything. He was literally my first for like everything cept kissing. He dropped me off and I aint heard from him at all. I have texted him and tried callin him and nothing. I thought he might like me more after we did what we did but now he wont even answer me at all. I mean is it because I was bad at it or somethin? Its not like I knew what to do and plus he did pretty much everything.
What do I do??? Cuz Im freakin out.
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It depends on many things; how he acted before, how long you guys were talking, how the activities were initiated, how things ended (did he stay the night or leave after), so on so forth. Overall, however, it’s a tough place. At the end of the day…
what does your heart say?
does he want you for more than what was given, or did he just take what was offered? It’s the brutal truth, but I’m not here to lie. I’m here to tell you the shitty brutality of life, and to tell you that no matter the answer, or that text back, you’re still worth more than rubies. (I find rubies better than diamonds… and diamonds is overused).
Feel free to update me on anything, or ask for extra advice. I try to stay active to help others. 🖤
ReplyWeve known each other for years ever since I was a little girl. He moved away and came back about 6 or 7 months ago. He really seemed to like me and was wicked nice and always complimented me and how I looked and how he always thought I was beautiful. We have been talking about having sex for the last few months and he wanted me to make the decision. All of my friends have done it and I felt like I was ready to finally do it and I thought he would treat me well. We went to his place and had sex. He was really sweet and gentle and made sure I was okay and made sure Its what I really wanted. And I did want it. After we had sex we cuddled and showered together but I had to get home so he dropped me off. He kissed me goodbye.
I appreciate you being really honest with me. All of this is new to me so I don’t know what to expect. I mean my heart hopes he has a good reason for not contacting me but idk. I didnt think he would just use me for sex and then ignore me. I thought he liked me and we would eventually get together as a couple and I thought he would probably want more. Youd think that after waiting and waiting to do it and then finally gets everything I could give then youd think he would wanna do it again right. What guy wouldn’t want to? I mean was I that bad at it? He was the first person I ever let have sex with me in both ways and idk if ill ever see him again. It hurts so bad.
Replythank you i posted a reply but its being reviewed for some reason. hopefully you can see it soon
ReplyI’ll keep checking. 🖤
Replyok idk why it takes so long or why it is bein reviewed
ReplyKey words get flagged, so the community has to review it just to be safe 🥹
ReplyHe acted really sweet and caring. Ive known him since I was little but he moved away and came back last year. We went on a few dates and then last night we ended up at his house. We were watching a movie and cuddle and one thing led to another and we slept together. He was gentle and went easy and made sure I was okay the whole time. We did it both ways. We showered and cuddle after. I had to get home so he dropped me off and kissed me goodnight. I don’t get it. Was I not good enough or somethin I mean it was my first time but I tried to make it good for him even when it hurt
ReplyTo me, this sounds like one of two things.
1. He is just scared he went too far and took your purity without you being sure this is what you wanted.
2. He is a damn good manipulator and a real son of a gun for leading you on that way.
I’d say just give it time. Do you, and trust that if your gut says he will come back then he will and if you are really doubting him then be prepared to face the doubts your mind will undoubtedly give you. Just know that it isn’t the end of you as a person, and that you’re still worth it even if this man doesn’t think so.
However, in my humble opinion, it sounds like he really does care. Guys that want you for one thing don’t stick around/reach out after leaving, and they do things at their own pace. 🖤
ReplyK thank you so much. You seem really nice. I don’t really regret it I guess but I hope he gets back to me soon and has a good reason for ignorin me. I have dated a couple of guys my age and coulda done it with them but I didn’t cause I figured they just wanted to do it for bragging rights or whatever and only wanted one thing even if they did seem to like me. Reason why I did it with this guy is cause he seemed to care too but was older and I figured he wouldn’t wanna play games and would be more mature and caring I guess. I hope he doesn’t think of me badly or nothin. I mean I let him do everything even when it hurt when he tried to do it with me from behind even when I thought it was gross. I did it cause I wanted him to not think I was a baby or nothin
ReplyHere is another question. Should I still be sore is that normal? Happened last night. I don’t wanna go to the doctors or ask anyone here cause it would be embarrassing
ReplyYup, if you were a virgin then definitely gonna be sore for a couple days. I was very sore my first time, and he was relatively gentle. It’s just what happens. I mean, you’re literally stretching yourself. Just make sure you clean down there and use the restroom a lot. Drink tons and tons of water, too. 🖤
ReplyNot just the front but the back too. Gross I know. I didn’t know to drink water but I will. I mean I didn’t bleed a lot or anything. I have a little but he was uhh kinda on the larger size too. Feels kinda weird but hurts a little too. Idk how to explain it. Im sure you already know though
ReplySure thing, it always hurts the first time. I can’t speak for the back end hurting too, though, cause I took it… uhm… in both ends on my first time. I’m not sure if that’s what you were implying, but both ends hurt for me simply because both of them were deflowered simultaneously.
It almost feels like it’s still… in there, right? That’s how I felt.
ReplySo we did it in the front first, then he wanted to try the back door so to say so we tried that but not for long. Then we went back to front and he finished that way. And ya it feels like its still in there. It’s an odd feeling. It was my first time for them both yes. But what do you mean by simultaneously? Does it feel like this cause he was umm larger than like the other ones I have seen? Or would it still feel like this? Is it like this every time?
So heres the thing this was the first time I really did it but when I was little something had happened then too. But this is the first time I wanted to.
ReplyAh I see. If he is plus sized, then yeah, it’ll feel like that most every time unless you really get accustomed to it. 5 inches is about the average depth of the uterus sooooo anything more than that is bound to make ya sore. 😂
ReplyHe was about as long as a piece of paper is wide and as wide as a ritz cracker. Maybe a little smaller but not much. Idk if that is normal or not.
ReplyThat’s about the average, but plenty big enough for your first time.
Replyhe said he was like 8 8.5
Replyhow long before it feels good though? sorry for askin so many stupid questions
ReplyNo worries, it’s good to get answers. It’s really dependent on every person.
The first few times I had sex were mostly around 2-4 days. The first time obviously took longer for me; 10 days. Around 4 days the second and third time, 5 days the fourth, 2 days the fifth, and so on so forth.
Replyhow many times before it starts to actually feel good though and not hurt as much when hes doin it?
ReplySecond time felt fine for me, after the first consensual time. (So my third time having sex total).
ReplyOkay. I hope it feels better next time. If he ever gets ahold of me. I just wanna do it a few times and get to the good parts already. So you know how you said your first time wasn’t really willing? Well your not alone
Replyi just wanna do it a couple more times so i can get to the good part. if he ever gets ahold of me
ReplyThat’s understandable.
Replyi prob sound stupid dont i
Replynot at all
ReplyOh I get it you mean both at the same time? That must have been somethin. No wonder why you was sore. I didn’t do that but he did do the back while he had a finger in front. But not the same thing im sure. Hopefully the guys you was with were nice.
ReplyTechnically, yes. I was raped for my first time by two males, but since I don’t like to count that as losing my virginity, I lost it to a nice guy that liked to experiment. 😂
Replysorry to hear that. i hope your okay now and they werent rough or nothin. experiment?
ReplyThey were, but such is life. Not everyone is blessed with a perfect first time, as you are aware. And I was older-ish when it happened.
He liked to experiment, or try out, new positions, kinks, and such as these.
ReplySorry they were ignorant to you. Some men are such jerks. Especially both at the same time must have been really bad. I cant imagine. Earlier you said that the vagina is like 5 inches deep. If he is 8-8.5 like he says and it seems like it was about right. Then how the heck did that fit? I mean I could feel like it was hitting something inside of me when he pushed it in all the way and it hurt. Any position better for that or anything
ReplyThat’s just the approximate depth, some are deeper than that and others are actually smaller than that. It was hitting your cervix, and that’s just something you get accustomed to if you really love this person.
…Or just love their dick, in my case 😂
Jokes aside, the pain subsides when you love a person and when it actually fits your depth.
ReplySo I finally heard from him. He texted me really late and wanted me to come out and see him. He said he felt bad for not calling me but he couldn’t talk about it on the phone or text. Anyways we talked for a bit and he must still like me cause we ended up doin it again in his car. It still hurt a bit. It was hitting when he went in all the way. Will I like stretch or get bigger down there so he can do that without it hitting eventually or is he just too big for me. As far as my ex goes we were just young kids when we dated and didn’t really break up for any reason. But from what I know of his as you say it dick it is much smaller
ReplySo I kinda told this boy about what happened cause he saw that I was upset. We use to date and now that he knows that I have done it he wants to do it too. ughhh
Replyolder that 15?
ReplySo I kinda told this boy about what happened cause he saw that I was upset. We use to date and now that he knows that I have done it he wants to do it too. ughhh
ReplyIt seems you really like the other guy, so I highly advise against it. Take it from me, it’s unhealthy to think of yourself as used after your first time. You’re not used or spent. Just wait for the guy to text you back. 🖤
ReplyIt stopped my other message but he did get ahold of me. But the older guy wont date me. My ex n I are the same age well only a year older. So thatd be easier to see each other. My ex really wants me back though n if we did then it might be easier with him cuz hes way smaller. But don’t most girls want bigger yet im thinkin smaller
Replynow my ex bf wants to because he knows about it
ReplyHe got what he wanted and now he's on to the next woman.
ReplyHe got what he wanted and now he's on to the next woman.
ReplyMaybe but I hope not
ReplyBy the sounds of it, and how much you told us. It kind of looks like he used you. You have to watch men now. I was always told not to let any man (or anyone for that matter) know that you are a virgin. Because they will use and ditch you. Honey I feel bad because he was your first and you will remember him always, but I would try to move on. He had one thing on his mind, and he got it. I hope you can figure out the right thing. Listen to your gut, and listen to your heart. More your gut though.
Replyi guess i aint gotta worry about tellin anyone else about bein a virgin :(
ReplyI can understand the feeling. Some people are not too careful with their actions towards others and I'm sorry his have made you feel some type of way. No matter the excuse, it is not fair that you're not able to reach out after being intimate. No matter what your head might tell you, do not go after people who do not respect you. You respect yourself and think high of yourself as you are your most important life project. You have a good heart and the right people will find you along the way! I do not think you did anything wrong. Don't fall in that mind game. Don't let them blur out for you what real love, respect and friendship is.
ReplyThank you, but I feel used and cheap
ReplyI’m sorry this happened to you, but take it as a lesson. You were taken advantage of, but now you can learn a harsh truth and be more cautious and less trusting with men. There are men out there who will use you and leave you despite seeming like they never would, and others who would give you the world and expect your happiness in return. Try to look within your self, your upbringing and role models, especially males. Choice in bad men can be a one off thing but it can also be a pattern. More importantly, give yourself grace and don’t be so harsh on yourself. Don’t name call yourself. You seem like you have a lot of love to give and I pray you find someone who will appreciate it. Good luck ❤️
Replythank you, i feel cheap and kinda like a sl*t
ReplyI am sure you will hear from him again. If not right away, then when he is looking to hit the sack again. After reading your post, it appears that you might be fairly young, and you stated he is quite a bit older than you. If that’s the case, then maybe he is worried because maybe he crossed a line he might be regretting right now. I mean he may not regret having feelings for you or what you two shared together, but maybe he is regretting himself allowing it to happen because of any age gap.
Either way, just know you did nothing wrong and that you have value. If this guy wants to ignore you and ghost you after you gave him something precious, then he is not a guy you should be with. You will find someone who truly values you and cares for you. I guess the question is, it was your first time, so regardless if he contacts you again or not, are you okay with what happened and will it be a good memory for you or do you regret it.
I really hope that he contacts you and everything works out for you, you seem really sweet. Good luck.
ReplyI don’t really wanna say our ages or whatever but he is older than me and I guess you could be right. He really is a sweet and caring guy so it isn’t like him to not wanna talk to me. Usually he wants to talk to me all the time and see me but I haven’t even gotten a text or anything. To answer your question I guess I am okay with what happened cause he was really great when we were having sex. He was really gentle and made sure I was okay. I mean I was nervous and all and I was scared he wasn’t gonna fit cause he was well nevermind. Anyways it was a good time even though it was uncomfortable and hurt a bit. I mean it coulda been worse I guess. My friends bf was not so nice when she lost hers and she was in a lotta pain after. I hope he contacts me to. Thank you guys for your support and opinions. I am sure you all have been through a lot more than me
ReplyIt’s totally understandable that you feel used because unfortunately you were, there’s plenty of that type around unfortunately who don’t give a flying fck about how they treat others as long as they get what they want. But please don’t feel cheap, you’re not or you wouldn’t be feeling disturbed by everything now like you are. And you’re certainly not a slut. It’s not you who has done anything wrong, at worst you were naive but that’s not a crime and you will learn from the experience
Reply