i feel so drained.

these past few weeks, i feel like i could die at any moment. i was never like this before.

i am a freshman architecture student and i havent be able to sleep for almost 2 weeks. my longest sleep is 3 hrs. i have so many problems and one of them is my outputs.

i used to do my plates well. but this time, looking at it makes me feel like dying. my professor told me all the things i did wrong and got 61, the lowest in the class. there are 20-30 points difference between them and me. my friends are improving well while i feel like im dropping and loosing my confidence as time pass by. I did as my prof said but still no different. still got a low score and quality. its not even improving she said. sooner or later, she will say that i might have to think to quit this course. which my last prof already tipped me indirectly.

today, i missed 3 classess just to do my plate that needs to be passed. the first time that ive ever skipped class just to do things but the quality was even worse. i looked at my friends work and they improved so much. they are getting good marks while mines dropped. if my marks goes like this again, the possibility that my professor will fail me is 90%

i want to do well. i want to pass. every night i do my best. God knows that I do. I worked for it for how many hours 6-8 hours ut whenever i finished, the quality is like it is just made 30 min.

My outputs are plain and dull like it has no life. i cannot think creatively. As time pass me by, slowly, i'm losing myself too.

I'm no longer jolly like i used to. I dont eat meals like i used to. i dont do well at acads like i used to. I've been quiet. I asked for help but no one can hear me. I cry but to myself only. God please help me. Please.

I feel like losing myself. i want myself back.