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Im a person who has recently started to hunt and have spent couple of days out in snowy and dirty environments on skiis during this winter.To keep away dirt and debris from getting in to the barrell of the rifle and also to protect my scope from fog on the lenses.i have tried couple of things to see what works best.tape..plastic bag and even a condom. When i dont need it anymore i put the stuff in my everyday use backpack.to be taken care of when i get home. Now to the point of possibly the demise of my great relationship.
My boss took my work car to a carshop for maintenance work,when i got it back he had asked the carshop to clean the car inside and out. I saw this old dirty condom lying in the storage between the front seats with a scent neutraliser put over it. Some how it must have fell out my backpack which i also use at work to keep water and food etc. My boss did not say anything but iam scared to death that he has seen or heard from the carshop about their finding and if he might talk about this to my workbuddies which live in same town which can spread to my fiance in which i assume the trust we have to each other will be set to Blaze and destroy everything we have. I know exactly how this might sound but i would never do anything with someone else,my fiance have saved my life in many ways and iam indeed in a happy relationship with three kids. I feel so sick of this situation that i have puked several times and it feels like my life will be destroyed. Destroyed by something i didnt do wrong,except forgetting to throw it away.What am i gonna do with this,just let it go as it goes or talk to my boss who might not seen it.to Call the carshop and apologies? even bring this up with my girl would cripple us forever.
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You are overreacting to this. Your boss wouldn't have heard of this finding because people have better things to do than to talk about some insignificant thing they find in a car. If he saw it he wouldn't care either. Your imagination is running away with you and you are worrying over nothing. Forget about this and get on with your life. I would hate to hear how you would carry on if you really had something serious to worry about.
ReplyThank you for responding,you are completely right about that i often let my imagination takes a big part of my problem handling. The life before my kids and fiance is a big cause of that but that is irrelevant on this topic tough you made me more self aware about my previous message and current thoughts.
Its a pretty small business and the carshop has good relations to my boss,i cant change anything and i guess i have to accept if something about this is revealed.my mind is switching between a more casual and in some parts humoristic point to the thoughts in my letter and it really feels like "everything is ruined"
Thank you alot for the reply with your down on earth answer.
ReplyI woke up and read your answer again,it wipes away the surface of my emotions but iam trying really hard to put this behind,it is the 4th day with this sick to the stomach feeling.i think iam gonna keep writing here because it makes me feel a little better somehow. If anyone reads this i would be glad to have your inputs on my thoughts.
ReplyDay 5 still got this sick to the stomach feeling,i havent yet dared to talk with my boss to hear if he says something.
I talked to a close friend about this who does think im over thinking this and that it will probably not lead to something but my mind is sort of blocked and stuck in this loop. Iam afraid where my tought are taking me,it feels like my world is falling.
coming to a conclusion that there has to be something beneath the surface of my mind that makes this so intense. When i read what im writing i see how messed up life has made me
I just want to sleep to make the time roll away this situation and let my mind to rest.
ReplyMy mind was getting to heavy so i called my boss and apologized for how messy the car was and he responded with that its cool and that we already talked about this and that i can let it go.
In my mind it is sort of a closure and that he probably dont know about the finding. I hope that he had said something about it in our Call of he knew.
For now my mind is at ease but my mind will trick me back in to the loop again in some extend iam sure. The uncertainty and loss of controll will hang on for some time
It is the first time i express myself in a text and definitely so anyone can read it,i think this really gives me some inputs about me self and that i probably need to talk with someone about how my reactions to even a small crisis leads my mind to devestating levels. I can clearly see what reply #1 talks about and understand it,my mind wont let it be at ease tough.
ReplyYesterday was quite a good day,minor anxiety feelings as soon i woke up till i fell asleep,talked with my boss two times and he acted normal. I keep telling me he dont know. Not until this afternoon im starting to feel this big lump in my troath again and my mind is turning and twisting every tought and detail about all this. Im starting to really think that i may have some disorder. Im a fully working person with a normal mindset on regular,but my brain really spins off when there is some kind of thing to worry about.
I Kinda regret writing here now but yet it feels good and when this is all over i can go back to this and use as guidance.
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