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I don't know where to start...They say "from the beginning". I still wonder how They came into my life and destroyed it. "They". One very evil and corrupt family that has caused me so much damage, materially and emotionally, that no judgment in this world would be enough to satisfy my anger, rage, despair and misery that I feel for them. They were my first employers from Austria. I came to work in their hotel with great hopes and wishes for progress. I am not from Austria and I spoked little German. It didn't bother them. I fell in love with them, as well as a small place in the Austrian hills. It was a winter to remember. A lot of snow that I haven't seen since childhood. I lived my happiness during those few winter months and thought to myself "I am finally fulfilled". The hotel was and still is run by 2 brothers. One is married, the other is not. Non-married brother caused later my emotional breakdown. Even before my arrival at the hotel, I imagined what that unmarried brother was like, whether he was approachable, likable. It's no a secret that I went to Austria searching my whole life, the one I've been dreaming about for years, I've been looking for it and I've visited places and countries, but I haven't found it anywhere. I felt that I had finally found that "happy" place in their hotel. A set of strange circumstances happened. It was as if someone broke into my thoughts right after my arrival and discovered that I was thinking intensely about Him (my unmarried brother). He was older than me by about 8-10 years and that was a big obstacle for me. I have a problem with the age gap, I don't like it and I've never sought out or paid attention to anyone much older or younger than me. The other hotel employees started teasing me and revealed to me that I could be "the" woman that single brother is looking for. They wanted to connect me with him, but there was a problem. He was my boss. During my entire stay, our relationship was completely professional. And at the same time, I was burning inside myself, following his every step, listening to his voice and remembering what he liked and what he didn't like. It was as if I was falling in love with him, but aware that I was not his type of woman and that his family (brother, mother, father) would never accept me. I got to know the Austrian culture and way of thinking. They were a wealthy family and every wealthy family tends to keep wealth within the family and acquaintances. Because of this, they never connect with people who are not from their circle of acquaintances. His mother and father literally forced him to marry for the hotel and all the wealth. That was obvious. Towards the end of my contract, suspicions began that I had been cheated on taxes. That doubt held me for a year and a half until I discovered that the suspicions were correct. In those one and a half year, I experienced so many bad things, cried, met disgusting people and my life was just sinking. I tried to find a job in my field, but I had no luck. It's as if my acquaintance with that family brought me so much misfortune and bad events that even now, after 2 years since I met them, I can't move from the dead point. Every attempt to do something new and better in my life is in vain. I try to continue living a different life, I push thoughts of them away from me, but it doesn't work. They literally destroyed me. Because of them, for the whole year 2023, I fought a legal battle for my rights, which they tried to take away from me. They had not registered me as living at their address and that brought me a problem with taxes. I had to pay a huge amount of money to the tax office of my country plus I had additional expenses. I cried for days, weeks, months and asked myself "what did I need in my life?" Why did life put them in my way? With what goal? What kind of life lesson is that? I still haven't figured it out. What I do know is that I realized once again that I will never really trust anyone again. They were so cute, but that cuteness was fake. They are professionals at lying. It is a fact that people who have no concept of their labor rights, stupid people, have been working in the hotel for years. They just keep quiet and work. If I try to look at the fact that I actually saved myself by leaving them, why did my life after them only have downs, no ups? Why doesn't luck knock on my door? I've been looking for her for so many years, and all I got was a cheater, with a fake smile and a stone heart. He is a man who was born with a heart of stone, he has no feelings for anyone. He is completely numb. I wanted to revive him. Him and myself, because I myself fell into depression several times because of my age and the fact that I still haven't married and I don't have my own family. My mental health deteriorated during the corona, but just when I started to live again I met them and they finished me off. Not a single day goes by without me thinking about them and thinking what would have happened if I had stayed? They offered me a new contract. I would live and work and I wouldn't know that I was being lied to and cheated. I often look at pictures of former colleagues, who still work for them, and I see that they are all happy. They renovated the hotel and their life got better, and mine? They destroyed mine. I wrote them an email when I officially found out that they had cheated me on my tax return, but they did not reply. I know that it must have been funny for them to read what I write to them and how angry I am because they are only interested in money and earnings. They are not interested in people and their feelings at all. They are so corrupt and greedy for money that it's a wonder they don't suffocate themselves in their greed. Laughing in everyone's face and selling likability, and being fake as a person. How is that possible? How do you do that? How many years do you learn to be fake or are you just born that way? To destroy someone's life and continue living as if nothing happened. I try to imagine them getting up every morning and being happy, their entire lives have changed for the better, I practically brought happiness into their lives. It's not the first time. I have helped many people find jobs and many people have started their lives after meeting me. When will someone bring even a little happiness to my life? When will this kind of human garbage start bypassing me? They are just that - human garbage. It's no secret that because of my strong feelings for the man who lied and deceived me, I thought about taking my own life. I am aware that no person in the world is worth having someone take their own life, but how can I finally move on with my life when every attempt has failed. Every time I come back to the memory of that winter, which was supposed to be the most beautiful winter in my life, I remain with a bitter memory. I can't look at the photos I took that winter because they automatically remind me of them. I tried to live in neighboring villages, but my thoughts and heart were always drawn to theirs. I don't live in Austria anymore, I have returned to my country and currently I do not have a job. I don't earn money, I have no desire to work in my city or in my country because here I started sinking into depression. That damned village and that damned hotel and He had pulled me out of depression. After my departure from their hotel, I started sinking again. By no means is the solution to go back to them because they are people without heart, without feelings, they only look at money and they are evil. They are useless for my life. After them, I met only equally disgusting people. It's unbelievable how many falls and attempts I've had to continue my life, how many times I've told myself that I have to turn my thoughts away from them, but unfortunately I always ended up in that damned village. My feelings for Him have not changed, I still feel something for him, only now it is mixed with despair, anger and the desire to completely erase him from my memory. Unfortunately, that is impossible. I've never met anyone like him before. This son of a bitch marked my life forever...
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