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Hello everyone,
I have been very unhappy with my life as of lately. I just feel unaccomplished and unfulfilled with life. It's as if I chose all the wrong choices. My life has become my regret. I chose the wrong major and now I'm stuck in an exhausting field that seemingly is trying to wear me down and demoralize me. If this is true, then it is working! Every other week, I seem to say to myself, "I've never felt more demoralized" or "Man, this might be one of my worst weeks yet". I'm 25 years old, but I already feel like I know what life is. And if this is what life is, then I'm going to be relegated to a miserable existence, aren't I? The killing revelation is that I feel as if I have not done anything of worth in my whole life. I've made no contribution to society.
So, to sort of cope with this, I try to improve myself, in the limited time I'm off from work. After work,I'll go for a walk, or I'll head to the office gym. Now, I do get the weekends off so I try to do fun things then. Go to the city for photography or go to state parks for hiking. But whenever I do this, I'm inevitably alone. It's endlessly frustrating when I try to make friends. I search how other people make friends and it's all the same: go to a play a sport, go to a class/club or go to a bar. So, I've tried that. I went to a group (on meetup) and met people. We played games and we did have fun, but the group barely meets! So it's not like I can see these people often. I tried other options,maybe there are language classes I could attend. The only trouble with that is, they never work with my job schedule. These classes are in the city during weekdays while I'm at work. My worklife is strangling me. Between that and Covid-19 occurring when I was in college, I never even had a chance for friends. I don't think people who write these "how to make friends after college or adulthood" guides really account for work schedules.
Should I just give up and be alone? Maybe that's just what I'm meant to be. Seems like people really aren't that friendly. I do not have any social media because I'm very conscious of how I look (I'm pretty ugly and I have a weird voice). Making friends on tge internet might be easier due to its fluid nature, but there's a degree of separation by this very same nature.
As you can see, I don't know what to do. I've tried going on meet up websites (lots of it is for older people in my area or things that either do not apply to me or I have no interest in) and when I'm out on weekends, I try to make myself look presentable and smile. I notice people stare at me, including on the metro and it just makes me feel bad. I get it, I'm ugly, please stop piercing me with your eyes.
But if you were able to read all this, I thank you.
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You are only 25 so you have plenty of time to contribute to society. If you really think that you are ugly go to a cosmetic surgeon and see what can be done to make you look better and if it can be done save up the money for this.
Another way to make friends is to try to join a sport team like badminton, tennis, darts, pool, or snooker.
ReplyLook inwards and submit to just doing nothing. Doing nothing will reveal what you love doing because it is time that you need to figure these things out. Time will create you a well of knowledge for you draw from. Achievement and accomplishment will never arrive if you are actively seeking because you don't know what you truly want. Your goal should be to figure out what you love and need, not what society needs. Society will only benefit when you are stronger, because then you will have something to offer.
Allow yourself your whole life to figure out who you are an evolve because the true answer is, there isn't one. Do not be led by society in comparing yourself because it is a construct of the human mind. Just because you live in it, doesn't mean it is true and correct. Your purpose will become more evident to you when you stop and surrender. Be still, be silent and submit. Your conscious is trying to tell you something, so look in and listen, not out.
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