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in the middle of the night,there i was
thinking of my skin as a canvas
it felt good at first
but the wave of guilt that hit later was the worst.
some said it was for fun
some said it was for seeking attention
i didn't know what to say
because i knew they would betray
my heart feared at times,
when white instead of red turned the lines,
it wasn't supposed to go that far
it was supposed to be just a temporary scar.
everything around me, about me deadened
as i sat there every night, saddened
and it didn't hurt anymore,
when it was red all over the floor.
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