What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
i only really self harm when im drunk now. ive gotten it under control enough. but also, i like how much more i do/ how i cut slightly deeper when im drunk.
but thats not the point, the real point is i wait til my roommate is gone and i feel so fucking guilty. the last time i did it, nearly a week ago, i waited til my roommate left for the night to do it. and tonight, i know she's going to leave soon, and i just thought about self harming and the way it was so clear in my mind. i was just like, i am going to do this once she's gone. and ive had some drinks, i know i will now that ive thought of it, but i feel guilt with it being in the context of hiding it from my roommate.
my roommate is fucking amazing. she also self harms and is trying not to as much, just like me. but she also has a lot of shit going on and i know that if she sees me doing it, it might trigger her into also doing it. it works in reverse, ive been sort of triggered into doing it by seeing her having a bunch of bandage wrap around her leg from self harm, but she doesnt know that that triggered me as far as im aware. and im doing the best i can to not trigger her, but its hard when we're both in relatively the same spot and still self harming but trying not to.
but somehow it feels ever worse and even harder knowing that im hiding it from her and intentionally waiting til she leaves.
its a shitty ass situation regardless, i know, but i still just feel insanely guilty as much as i know its shitty and really neither of us are to blame.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
just me~
in the middle of the night,there i was thinking of my skin as a canvas it felt good at first but the wave of guilt that hit later was the worst. some sai...
-
I wish...
I wish I was normal. I wish I could go to school instead of attending group all day because I am suicidal and nobody trusts that I won't hurt myself. I wish peo...