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I've been listening to music but specifically song lyrics until dawn... and now it's dawn. Some of these songs make me question why or what I like so much about them, because some of these lyrics or even the tone of the songs are a little depressing for me, and they always threw me for a loop and made me feel I needed to hold on or otherwise the song or whoever sings it would call me a liar and a quitter. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm a liar, like for real... or better question, are these songs actually that good, or they only sound good but the meanings and tones of them are not good for me? And I feel like it's too late to reorganize my shit or listen to different stuff, not really but, especially the first... since I'm kinda stuck with the songs I currently know. I have criticized music for being bad for your mental health, and I don't know... maybe I'm just not fit to enjoy music, since every time I listen to music it feels like I'm on some holding on meter to prove that I belong with the message of the songs. I wonder why I still gravitate towards listening to this kind of music, when in reality it makes me feel bad. Maybe the answer is to listen to new music, but it's hard to find stuff that I actually wanna listen to; I feel like music is filled with disappointment and I really don't know how to tell someone that I don't like their music or their music suck. I divorced from a lot of things throughout my life... things that I thought were affecting my mental health and no longer made me feel good, but it's hard to change now because I feel like in a way I'm stuck in my ways and I keep gravitating towards my first impression I had on things, like my first favorite song. A lot of songs keep getting skipped and I can only enjoy some of them whenever I'm in a certain mood or some time has passed, and I feel anew with refreshed energies. Sometimes I wanna get off this ride and tell the things I previously enjoyed that now they can go fuck themselves, but yet I keep gravitating into liking them like I did the first time. First impressions matter a lot to me, but I would really like to unstuck myself from my ways sometimes. Like I've heard in a song, "I guess we are who we are," meaning old habits die hard. TL;DR
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I get songs stuck in my head. The song 'Lucy In The Sky With Glasses' was stuck in my head for weeks. Now the song 'I Am Woman' keeps coming into my head. I tried singing other songs to get rid of it but it keeps coming back.
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