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hey there...
I'm in a very tough situation. I don't want to be depressed, I don't wanna be sad. I just wanna be fucking happy. And every time I cry, I used to get a feeling of guilt but now I just feel fucking weird, like I'm grossed out by myself. And every time I cry, I just wanna die, or kms, or find someone who can do the job for me. And afterwards when everything's fine I'm "back to normal" which is weird. Because I just fucking cried my ass off, and I yelled and screamed, and fought with everyone(arguments) and hit myself, and tried drowning myself, and no matter the situation I'm deadass just so fucking done, in my head I believe that death is the way out, but when I no longer feel that way my whole body cringes on the way I reacted. Like why tf do I feel this way??
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Hey there. Thank you so much for sharing this and reaching out. What do you need most?
Replyidk really? what about....happiness? but that's too tough to ask.
ReplySmall steps are the best way to go. The only way really. What's one small thing you could do today to work toward the happiness you want?
ReplyAlso, I just thought of this song -
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2B-XTjhORCM&pp=ygUUcmVidWlsZGVyIGNhcnJvbGx0b24%3D
ReplyIts ok to cry it helps you feel better somewhat. Death isn't the way out our lives are short enough. What are things you like doing that make you happy? Start with some of those to things. I hope you feel better hon xx
ReplyIg being with my friends makes me happy. I noticed that recently. Thank you for the help :)
ReplyYou are not alone. I understand about not wanting to be depressed and wanting to be happy. I get that so much. I have those days. I have learned to take small steps. I will find the smallest thing that will make me happy and work from there. It eventually starts to help and get better. There is nothing wrong with crying it out and having a day to let it all out.
Replyyeah, but is it possible to cry too much...because recently it's a lot. And I can't stop. It's stupid because I feel like "ending it all" makes me feel like it'll take away my problems but really I know that's not the case.
thank you :))
ReplyMaybe you are carrying a lot of stress.
Replywell yes, one of the main reason
Replyhi, buddy. I want to say "Stop thinking that" but it's wrong to say. Try listening to Music but not the depressing one. And podcast too. many people do that nowadays. I know we listen to music based on how we feel, but instead of depressing one, try listening to something that makes u feel at peace like u r floating in the air or flowing in the water. And walking on the shores because the pebbles help ur feel and take a cold shower or bath. Btw, I listen to thewizardliz and I hope she'll help u in the way that u need. It's okay to be happy. We, humans, need it. U r also not alone, buddy. Many are feeling the same way as us and seek help. And, try to meditate, it really helps.
Replylmaooo every time I'm depressed or something..I alwayssss listen to sad music. Which is really not good since it brings me to this weird black hole and I get sucked in farther and farther. I'll try a podcast...I never listen to a podcast maybe a new experience that will help..hopefully..thank you :)
ReplyHey , is there something you like. If not , can you try picking up a hobby. I know right now you might not feel like doing anything because you're so tired , but it might help, a lot. Journalling works wonders for me. Also please know feeling this way , it happens. I used to cry a lot , a lot and even now I think I cry a crazy amount. Everything hurts sometimes and sometimes I'm so tired of crying. But uk what make it a strength. The fact that you cry is a sign that you feel , put those feelings out there. You quite honestly have the potential to be a pretty great human being in the future too because you feel. If you want you can try therapy if you think it's too much. I think I have emotional regulation issues lol. For now , please cry it out and just tell yourself , it's okay and you'll be okay. You can do this , I believe in you. I strongly believe God will give you happiness. Bless you and have a great day !!.
Replyawwww thank you!!! Thank you for your kind words. I have picked up a few hobbies lately. I like reading since I was a big reader and I stopped once I hit HS and now I'm back to reading. Hopefully this hobby keeps up and I can distract myself from all the stress and problems going around home and outside of home. Thanks for believing in me too ty that gives me hope too.
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