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To the boy who has my heart,
Hi. You're awesome you know that right? My heart calls for you as I write this. I'm stupid. I've always been stupid when it comes to love, so. Here I am, writing a letter to my boyfriend. I hope this works out. I've always been a lover. I yearn to love people, for who they are, for who i thought they can be. And it has hurt me, and helped me at the same time. I have fallen in love with the potential of people. The ones, who showed me little efforts, I've loved them all. But.
But then there's you. Idk if its okay or normal to compare my old relationships with my new one, but. Here i go. Nobody has showed me this much love. Your efforts mean a lot to me. From the day you told me you like me to my face, and told me that the reason why you didn't talk to me was because you were afraid of falling in love with me- i just. How could i not like you back? How could i not blush when you look at me like I'm the whole world to you? You observe me like no one has ever did. You decode my actions. You say sorry for even minor things that doesn't even matter sometimes. You accept the mistakes you did in your past, and you say you're guilty about it. You say you're not perfect, or mature. But honestly, you're perfect for me. You're all i wanted. Someone to love me for the way i am, someone who would try to get to know me and understand me. Someone who would want to hug me and never let me go. Someone who would hold my hand even if I say it's sweaty.
You wrote me a letter. A 3 page letter. Front and back. Pouring out your feelings even before us getting together. And my heart called out for you. I didn't know someone could love me this way. Nobody else has. I've yearned for love, but I've always been a giver, and not a receiver. And now, you give me everything I have ever wanted , and Idk if i wanna stay or just run away. I'm Scared. I admit that. I put a wall in front of us every time you come closer, because I don't believe that people actually stay. When you wrote me that letter, it reminded me of Darcy from pride and prejudice writing Elizabeth a longgg letter, and remembering how jealous I got because of that. I wanted someone to write me letters. In the world of texting, and emails and calls, i wanted a letter. And you gave me it, without asking. You told me you love me and my heart ached for you because I'm not there yet. I disliked myself for a moment for not loving you the way you wanna be loved. But I'll give myself a break. I have gone through a lot, and even if I have created a big brick wall in front of us, I think I'm willing to break it for you. And I know that the beginning of a relationship is not everything . It's the way they act continuously in the relationship that matters. And I really hope that even if you change, you'll change for the better. And I want you to know that I'm trying. I'm trying my best to let you in. And even if you leave, I'll be happy for the memories. Life is unpredictable. Shit happens. But I really do wish I won't hate you like I did the rest of the people I dated. I don't want our relationship to end that way. Thank you for loving me even though I've never spared a glance at your direction. Thank you for silently observing me when I was at my best and my worst. Thank you for trying to hold my hand even tho I'm too shy to take it. Thank you for talking to my sister yesterday. That actually means a lot to me.
My boy, my precious. I really hope that one day I'll get there. I'll keep trying to push forward in between my trust issues, and I really hope you are worth of it all. In between my depression and my mood swings, you chose to accept me and stay with me. You make me wanna live. You make me happy. I hope we work out through all the good and bad days. I really do.
From,
your girl.
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Bro you've got a gem out there. Please get married<333. No but all excitement aside , take your time and heal and then y'all can get married<333. I'm sorry if I'm getting too ahead this is just so fdfhh and I'm a hopeless romantic.
ReplyOnoooooooo, Im just 18 tho. I dont think its legal to get married here. But yeah. I just realised i love this guy yesterday, and i told him that. Idk, i feel blessed. And thankyouuuuuuuu <3
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