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Just venting but i need someone to read this and respond to it...
1 month ago · 63 · Need Advice ASAP, +6
390
Its not fair...I didn't ask for this...The anxiety...The anger...The depression...The urges to hurt myself or others...I didn't ask for any of this..! I ask over and over again to be happy....To be loved...To be the daughter he always wanted...Not the one he didn't....I asked to be normal...Not different...
I just want to be happy...And i don't mean just half of the time...I mean all of the time...I don't want to have to fake or hide my emotions...I don't want to have to not feel anything when things get too hard or overwhelming...I don't want to hurt anymore...I don't wanna fake anymore smiles...Its EXHAUSTING..!
I'm exhausted...But no one seems to care...Or they don't notice it...I don't know but i really just want someone to hug me and tell me they know i'm not okay but things will get better soon...That they care...Love me even...And that they'll help me no matter what...I'm constantly overthinking everything and i can't stop...
All i can think about is how much i wanna watch the blood drain from my veins...I'm not okay but not a single damn person cares or even notices! Its not supposed to be like this...
I'm so tired of feeling...Tired of crying...Tired of hurting...Tired of being told "You're just doing it for attention"...Tired of being told "You're problems are bullsh!t"...Tired of being told "You're the problem"...Tired of being told "Its all in you're head"...I'm just TIRED...
And no one gets it....
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any other empaths on here with tips/can relate?
actually even if ur not an empath u might be able to help. so whenever my crush gets a little bit upset it feels like there's a stormcloud over the entire room....
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My Timed Entry
I have this crush and his really so good to me that his actions towards me I GAVE THEM ALL A MEANING/SMTH cause I'm just really like that since then I want to f...
I'm going through same.
ReplyI'm sorry you're going through this too....It sucks...
ReplyHow was ur day?
ReplyHonestly...? Pretty sh!tty....How about you?
ReplyMine was same as usual.
Boring.
ReplyI believe you with everything you say.
It is hard. SUPER hard.
However, life has a way of doing that.
I am not going to sugarcoat and tell you that a perfect life is waiting for you, although, I am sure you already are aware of that.
Life will put you through hell. Life will beat you to the ground. Life will make you feel like absolutely nothing.
But it is also YOUR life.
You decide how you want it.
When life beats the absolute shit out of you, you can either lie there and lose all hope, or you can pick yourself up.
I´m not saying that it is easy. I know it's not easy. I get you. I understand where you are at. And I went through the same thing.
When it hits you again and again and again you´re like WHY?
WHY IS IT LIKE THIS?!
You cannot crumble.
Because let´s face it.
Humans are humans.
You are what you got.
Now, I do not know if you are religious.
But for me, I looked up.
I said ¨ GOD WHY?¨
¨WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS HAPPEN? SURELY IF YOU ARE REAL, YOU WOULD NOT LET THESE THINGS HAPPEN!¨
And for me, that's when it hit me.
That's when things changed.
I gave it to God. I gave it to God when I believed the least in Him.
I gave it to God when God believed in me.
It's a willpower.
It isn't something that happens overnight. It is more than a 3 AM motivation. It is more than a good walk in the morning.
It is more than just getting up at 5 AM and doing all of these unnecessary things that the world has deemed ¨Healthy.¨
Create your own healthy.
Create your own style.
Your own YOU.
And if you don't feel it one day, that's okay.
If you don't feel it 3 weeks, that is okay,
But always get back up.
I love you.
And I am praying for you.
DO NOT give up.
LOVE yourself.
YOU ARE WORTH IT.
It will NOT be easy.
But sweetheart, neither are you.
Love you. <33
ReplyAll i can say is, that really hit....I really needed this...always have....but i gotta be honest...I've lost almost all of my faith in god....I ask him every morning....every night....but i still have yet to hear from him...Three years and i've gotten nothing....But i still try...And when you said "Life will put you through hell. Life will beat you to the ground. Life will make you feel like absolutely nothing.
But it is also YOUR life.
You decide how you want it.
When life beats the absolute shit out of you, you can either lie there and lose all hope, or you can pick yourself up." It reminded me immediately of my view of the world... "Life is hard, But no matter how many times it throws you back in that ditch, bruised and beaten, You are strong enough to pull yourself out, but even if you're not, HE will always be there to help you when he sees that his help is best fit Just don't give up." Love you too... <3
ReplyI get how you feel about losing faith in God because it seems as though he isn't listening and answering you.
Sadly, I really don´t know what to say about it either. Some times God´s lesson is patience or something completely different.
But I can say, things will turn up.
There was a woman who lost her child a long while ago. Her child, who was an adult, was murdered. The mother, in all her heartbreak, strived to find her murderer- to which they did about a couple of years later. However, something in the mother´s mind didn´t feel right when the criminal was getting his life sentence. She decided to keep looking for him.
22 YEARS went by of her searching for this unknown man.
It all seemed hopeless until a new owner of the house her daughter had lived, in noticed something.
The case was back and within a couple of weeks, they found the murderer, who happened to be the daughter´s crossed-the-street neighbor.
Sorry for example, but it is what came to mind first.
All I am saying is things take time. They can all take a lot of time or a little.
You may never know why, even, but there is always a reason.
ReplyIt was actually a really good example so thanks. Hope you have a good day!
ReplyI hope you have an amazing day <3
ReplyI hate to say it but i'm not :(
Replyoh no, why?
ReplyI have some dumb a$$ girl at school trying to fight me and i'm hella on edge right now and every time i'm in the hallway, i'm looking around to make sure she's not following me.. :(
ReplyThat's horrible, I am so sorry. idk the situation, but girl should just chill.
My day isn´t so great either. It is the last week before grades are finalized, and I got a 60% on a test I legit thought I did well on. I am so excited to see my A drop to its grave.
ReplySorry. But hey, i'm failing five classes right now so, i felt you on that..I literally get 60's and below in algebra so school sucks.
ReplyAlgebra sucks in general. I am in Geometry right now and I would prefer it over Algebra on any day. No one in their right mind would mix letters and numbers together tho like brv.
ReplyFor real though lol. Also, I'm writing another song (don't know if you care or not but yeah)
ReplyNo, I think that is really cool! Do you like to write?
I love to write poetry and stories a lot.
ReplyYes, I love to write! I also write poems and stories but i mostly write songs!
ReplyThat is really cool and a really amazing talent you have. I wish I could listen
ReplyThanks!
Replyofc
ReplyI have survived the day so far😌
ReplyThats good!!! <3
ReplyYeah <3
ReplyWhat grade are you in btw, if I can ask lol
ReplyI'm in 9th grade lol, you?
ReplyI am a Junior (11th)
ReplyDamn lol
Replyyoure so littttlle
It goes so fast fr
ReplyYou say that lol but i'll be sixteen in may lol. Plus i'm really tall lol.
Replyoh, see I am almost 17, but I am like 5 ft tall.
ReplyLol, i'm like 5'6.
Replyoh that is pretty average around here.
It is a bit intimidating tho.
Most of my friends are younger than me, by a couple of months or years, and they are all taller than me.
My bio parents are pretty tall tho so, I don´t understand brv.
ReplyPeople think that i'm intimidating in general lol. It has to do with my "crazy" personality.
ReplyThat´s a good thing!
ReplyYeah, that means *most* people won't fuck with me lol, and they stay out of my way.
Replylol
ReplyHey! How are you today?
Replylol
ReplyHow are you today?
ReplyI am so sorry for not responding!
I am okay- I am in a bit of a silly rut.
How are you :)
ReplyI'm doing really good! <3
ReplyYay! <3
ReplyI know right! <3
ReplyI think you're really cool
ReplyReally?
ReplyGo check out my post called "To those of you contemplating taking your life". Thanks.
Replyoh ok
ReplyHey I just wanted to say that you seem like such a great person and your words make such a difference thank you <3
Replydon't know who this is to, but you are so sweet I just wanted to say. <33
ReplyWhy are you taking responsibility to be what you perceive your father to want in a daughter? That's not YOUR responsibility.
ReplyIts simple. I try to please others instead of myself.
ReplyIt's not easy to feel shitty 24/7 but who is telling you that it's all in your head, because it's not. Our feelings are a result of things that happen both inside and outside of us so every feeling is valid. But people who invalidate other peoples feelings shouldn't be in your life, and if it's family, then it's rough but I would recommend trying to surround yourself with people who will actually listen and support you.
ReplyIts my dad..He's been telling me that for the past year and a half..
ReplyWell first of all, you matter. And second of all, he isn't a good influence and hes not a very nice person. And he shouldn't be telling you that, in fact, he should be supporting you or just not saying anything at all. I would recommend you get out of there asap.
ReplyI will the moment i get the chance to run....But i'm tired of running....It's all I've ever done...I ran away from my mom when i was thirteen but was forced to go back and then i left for good and now i live with my dad...But now i need to run from him too....He's honestly not just mentally abusive...he's also physically abusive...And he's made a few attempts to rape me...and yes, i have tried reporting it but i was unsuccessful....
ReplyOh shit. Do you have a job by any chance or any place where you can stash some money away where your dad can't access it?
ReplyI don't, unfortunately. I'm only sixteen, So i don't even have a job yet, mainly cause he won't let me get one.
ReplyIs your mom or ur dad worse? I'd recommend living with the better parent. Or at worst, calling cps.
ReplyCPS already got involved..They don't believe me..My dad is worse. My mom is doing better and is trying her hardest to be a better mother.
ReplyHow come CPS doesn't believe you, did you show cps any physical damage or provide them any evidence you have of this treatment?
ReplyI did.
Reply