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No family is perfect, every one is going through some or the other family crisis, financial or emotional. I am going through both financial and emotional. I'm 20years old, I live with my grandfather, father, brother, bua, bua's daughter and bua's husband. My mother left my father last year due to domestic violence, she went to my nani's place. They had clashes majorly because of 2 reasons, 1. My father was sitting at home jobless so he vent out his frustration on my mother. 2. My bua would abuse my mother, as my bua has high anger issues and she cannot see anyone grow.
Rn, my mother and father they are in talking terms and my mother is ready to come back home too, but she said that she won't be able to work for my bua and tolerate all the abuse from her too. Coming to my bua, she is a very spoilt child of the family, as she is the only girl and she is the youngest of her 4 brothers. So since childhood she has high anger issues, she would bang doors unnecessarily, and throw things out of frustration. She continued this all her life, even till date she gets fumed in anger very veryyy easily, her daughter and husband they are like puppets to her. Due to my grandfather's ill health 2.5 years back,she came to our house and started living with us only, she also has her own house and but she didn't return back her house since then. Coming to what recently happened, Day before yesterday was holi, our extending families came to our house for playing holi now me and my cousins we played holi, but the holi colour was all over the floor of the house, my cousins (who are 30 somewhat years old) were busy playing holi, and I decided to clean up the mess because I was aware my bua is not going to like all of this at all, she came in and started shouting at me because she thought I had done all of this. She was continuously abusing at one point I lost my cool and retaliated back by saying "mujhe kyu bol rhe ho aap and 1 saal se aap mujhe dekh ke itna ganda kyu react krte ho." We started arguing, everybody came in between. My grandfather was also sitting there. At one point she said to me that "beech me se faad doongi terko yahi khade khade" I said "faad ke dikhao aap" Because vo yahi same dhamki sabko deti hain my mummy and saari apni bhabhiyo ko, aur saaalo se deti aarhi hai. As soon as I said faad ke dikhao, unki beti (who is 16 years old) ne aake mujhpe attack krdiya sabke saamne, she said "randi madarchod meri maa se moo chalati hai". Noone came in between everybody was watching us in our extended huge family, until things became worst. They took mother daughter duo back to their room and then my bua's husband came to me and was about to give me a tight slap, my grandfather stopped him. Now me being 20 year old my brother being 14 years old and my father who was completely unaware what was happening inside, he was sitting with uncles outside and loud musics was playing in background. We three as a close family felt completely helpless because we just didn't know how to retaliate now. It has been 2 days since holi and I am feeling extremely bad sad guilty for being attacked, and I am feeling powerless helpless as if I am nothing in this house. It's such a feeling where I feel I am all alone, I can't protect myself, I couldn't protect myself that day, whenever I see those physically marks on my body and face, I think to myself how can I be soooo weak.
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I've been through similar things as you so I can understand, he shouldn't have hit you. That's very much wrong. Next time you should report it to the police. Make a case against him. Speak up for yourself. I hope things get better soon for you . Cheers.
ReplyFight back. That will show them what you are made of!
ReplyYou are correct, no family is perfect. But violence within the family makes everything much worse; even police tell you they hate responding to domestic violence calls because of the potential for danger. In my humble experience, don't dwell on the event. Also do your absolute best to avoid being around people who you have conflict with, it's best to just leave and stay away from all that mess. And if you can take self-defense classes so you can defend yourself if you are given no choice but to defend yourself. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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