Today

Hi, i’m an italian girl, 22yo. Today is easter so there’s a big holiday and lunch at my house, all my family is here. My siblings (im the last child), their family and my aunt and uncle.

Everyone is happy, everything is right. I help my mum, we eat a lot and we break the chocolate eggs. And that is when i start to feel bad.

So, I’m not the skinniest girl alive, but I’m not even fat. I’m normal, still, even if I wasn’t, this day wasn’t the right day to say something like this, or am I wrong? My aunt came to me at the end of lunch saying “you became fatter” and “you were better before” ok alright auntie love u.

But I moved on, I mean, look at yourself. I still have my siblings to have a great time right?

Well. I was talking with my mom and brother in law when he said that he was happy I found a job. For the context, I just graduated from Graphic Design and finishing a job is pretty difficult since I don’t live in a big city and where I live everyone search for people with experience, and obviously I don’t have it. My older sister, on the other side of the room, with my other siblings and my older niece said, non to loud, “yes but the job is in bergamo” and laughted. The place where I’ll go is not even Bergamo, and from where I live is 40min with the car, so what is the problem? I heard her and her laugh so I said that it’s another place. She screamed “fatti i cazzi tuoi” that means like mind your own fucking business. I came to her telling that if she want to laugh about me, at least include me in the conversation and don’t speak behind my back. My other sister and brother (all older) said that I’m touchy and to sensitive, that they weren’t joking. Ok then why laughing about something this stupid? I mean, are u the one paying for my gas or is it me? Even told my sister that if I wait to find something more near home I’ll never find something. I need to work and I didn’t even said anything, just, if U laugh about me, be sure to include me in the conversation and i will laugh to, because otherwise u are just talking dirty to someone. She makes faces and hug me sayin “o no poor baby is now angry” which makes me angry for real this time, before I was just talking. So I don’t say anything and just wait for everyone to go home. That sister that came and hugged me again saying that she will never speak to me if this is my reaction? I’m just a kid and bla bla bla the same old people stuff. The thing is, I don’t care if they make fun of me when Im there or not. I’m used to it, I’m the younger sister so everything that happens is my fault ecc ecc. It bother me when they make fun me in front of my nieces. That’s all.

And so, now that I wanted to see a movie with my brother, eating some chocolate from the eggs, I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to stay in my room and complain with someone, but my mom will tell all my things to my sisters. I don’t want to go and complain to my friends because I’m not the kind of person to talk about some things even with my closest friends, and it’s a holiday and I don’t want to ruin the day with my negativity hahah. I just wanted to write what I feel and maybe see a respond. You can even write i’m in the wrong I don’t care, I just want a confrontation because in my family I can’t have that, since everything I say is dismissed because I don’t have real problems and all that things. (not that I view this as a big problem, but still it ruined my afternoon hahaha).