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I'm experiencing the feeling of nothing. I have no emotion whatsoever, but at the same time maybe everything in one but nothing. 2 hours ago I sat in my room just to cry out all the pain I've been holding in for almost a year. And I would love to tell someone but I wouldn't know where to begin or how to start. The thing is I wouldn't. I couldn't. Because no one would understand. Or I'd hurt them with that has happened to me. I've told a few people but I'm sure they forgot because they don't know me anymore. If I could end my life here, rn and at this moment I would do it. But it's a sin to kys. So, here I am alive. Sometimes I don't even wanna die. I just wanna know if people would care. Does anyone care?? After a while they forget. Unless they're reminded. But overall no, they don't even notice. They'll always be this hole in my heart but I keep going on with life. There is no purpose in life, and I've heard so many reasons, I just stopped caring anymore. Mother's mad, father's gone, sisters don't care, brothers away, and I, I'm here..into this nothingness. And I feel nothing. I want to sleep to never wake up but I always hoped for a painful death, but right now I could use a nap. Or even death to take me.
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As long as you want God to be with you He will be. Otherwise you will be alone so have God in your life and always remember that He cares. Don't expect people to really care because they only care about themselves. If you want help from someone see a doctor first to find out if you are depressed and if you or the doctor think it will help see a therapist. All the best.
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