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karma for my ex-bsf?? (n i js feel lost, and unheard, no ones listening to me)
6 months ago · 0 · i dont know what to do, +3
142
my grandad passed away a month ago today, and my whole house was js upside down. (Hes my mum's dad) so my ma left asap to go to her home country where his funeral was held and she ended up missing it 💔 anyway, I was left alone with a household full of males (dad and brothers) and like it was EXHAUSTING without my ma. I went home from school with my ex-bsf and her mum (who I call aunty cs she's my mums bsf) as usual, but then they all had the decency to brag to me about everything and just like.. for example. I had to go to Turkey for a week after that day of school ended and my aunt has the decency to try and one up me and say "Oh well we're gonna go to so and so country, then we'll go to Turkey. But we aren't going to Antalya where YOUVE been. We're going Istanbul cs its better" like okay? And then ex-bsf and her sister were like "hows it without ur mum?" ITS SO DRAINING U DONT UNDERSTANDD WHY WOUKD U EVEN ASK THAT?? MY HEART SINKS EVERYTIME SMONE ASKS ME THAT.
Then they decided to go on a rant about how 'hard' it would be for THEM if THEIR mum left. Like you think I care? Could've atleast talked about it in private, I dont wanna be apart of that convo.
And today I got the news that ex bsf and her sister's grandad passed away. I do feel bad for them, since I heard they immediately started crying as soon as they heard about it. But after some thought it just feels like, NOW they'll know what I went thru. Although imo, it won't be as bad, since their mum isn't going to be leaving them for a whole month to go abroad to their granddad's funeral. Their grandad was nice, he took all us 3 (ex-bsf, her sis n me) to get sweets and it started pouring outside so he used his jacket as an umbrella for us all. But that was many years ago, when me and 'ex'-bsf actually got along and we were bestfriends. Maybe its just occurred to me now, but it feels like my surroundings are just falling apart after me and my bsf stopped being close friends. Genuinely, not one good thing has happened since then. Its been 4 years since we stopped being close too. None of the falling out was my fault, long story short ex bsf chose another girl over me WHO WE BOTH DIDNT LIKE!! and it was such a difficult time for me cs her new bsf always argued with me and tried fighting with me ALL THE DAMN TIME. She isn't around anymore due to moving schools, but she's left such a big impact I hate her. Not as much as i hate my ex-bsf but yeah.
Another small problem, I wanna stop going to school and returning from school with ex-bsf, her sis and her mum. I genuinely CANNOT stand it anymore. Why? Cause the car's so small and ex-bsf decided that her friend can tag along w us too, and every1 switches up in the car. They act completely white-washed and put on stupid accents (except from my aunt) js bc ex-bsf's friend is white.. LIKE GIRL. And the cars small, which usually isn't a problem but girl WE R ALL SQUASHED IN THE BACK SEATSS I HATE IT. I've told my ma that I'm going by myself to schoop now BUT SHE WONT LET ME!! Especially since school starts in a week, and their grandad has js passed away, we can't tell them all of a sudden that we don't wanna carshare anymore cs then they'll need someone to drop off ex-bsf and her sister in the morning. Plus my ma thinks that we'll all fall out and that their family is OUR ONLLLY 'FAMILY'. So we can't do that to em. Ugh so frustrating. I hate how ex-bsf is apart of my life EVEN AFTER WHAT SHE MADE ME GO THRU. Part of me just wishes I was abroad rn. That Turkey trip was good, it was like an escape to everything that was happening. Ughh I WANNA GO BACK.
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