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its been a year and a half. ive come to accept that my ex was shit but theres something that still troubles me from time to time. whenever i would go to his house, hed beg me to take my shirt off or take my pants off and try to kiss me even when i told him no and eventually i gave in. i remember (regular) sleeping with him and i woke up and he had his hand down my pants on my as* even though before we went to sleep i told him no he couldnt do it. but what i am most ashamed of is that when i woke up i wasnt immediately repulsed, i actually arched my back more and then he tried to move his hand lower but i pretended to shift so he would take his hand out but i only did that because i was on my period and i didnt want him to touch my pad. and then i pretended to wake up. but i didnt know whether i should tell him or not i was too scared to confront him and i didnt even know if i was mad ot not and the next time i went to his house he asked me to do it again and i said yes because he already did it the previous time so whats the point in saying no this happened when i was 15. i personally feel that he manipulated me i to doing a lot of intimate things but i feel like if someone were to ask him he would say no i wanted to but he was the one who kept pushing and he wanted to have sex so bad and do other stuff but i didnt want to and he said trust me so i let him finger me and i pretended to like it even though i didnt feel anything at all. like it didnt feel good or bad it just felt there and i fake moaned and he thought i was wet but it was actually just me ovulating or idk what its called but it happens every month it wasnt him. ugh tmi im off track but yeah idk if what he did counts as sa, because its not fully a grope??? idk????
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was it actually SA? Or am I being dramatic.
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Hello, young one. I want you to know, yes doesn't always mean yes. I am actually writing an educational piece currently about the sensitivity of s**ual relationships.
It take 2 to tangle as they say, and if both people aren't are board, then s*x shouldn't happen. Period. People are still developing their ration making part of their brain till around age 24 which is why we don't want pressure kid into s**ual things and laws in places reflect that.
If you were 15- a child, you are still growing and discovering things about yourself. Learning about the world, including s**xual things. Even adults can still be learning about their preferences and such. So don't feel ashamed.
If you say "No" he HAS to respect that.
There is NO baggering.
There is no saying things with attent to get what HE wants in the moment.
A NO is clear!
And, ANYONE AT ALL who says otherwise is either creepy or actually genuinely crazy, factually.
In places, like say the USA, you can be charge if a person make someone say "yes". Yes is; cohesion someone to say use, power dynamics like age gap or status. It's also if someone bribe someone, like promissing money or maybe a promotion. It's also if someone is being threatened. Like physically or verbally. Doesn't matter if the aggressor has a weapon or can even just be threatening to do something like make someone loose their job.
A relationship between 2 people should be more then that stuff. Finding someone to trust and you can be your purest self around, unjudged and just comfortable with is amazing! And, worth finding. But, again, it's takes 2 to tangle; and, if the other isn't going to respect your body nor boundaries, they aren't a keeper.
Take your time healing. You're journey is your own. There's no rush. When you're able to afford it look around for a therapist that fits you, ince you find them, it will feel better. 🙂
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Don't worry, I soon will post a PSA to bring awareness with stigma soon. I am not encouraging you to check it out, do wgat you feel. I just want you to know, I support you [and others] being safe.
ReplySorry if there's typos I am on a old, non functioning device. I was writing my piece on another device.
ReplyNo means no, so if you said no and he kept going, that's SA. Pretty clear cut if you ask me.
ReplyThanks for sharing. I will be sure to tell my daughter to never go to a guy's house because guys only want sex, when they're young and single, or old and married. What makes all of this very complicated is that guys give love for sex and girls give sex for love. So it's a win win, win lose, or lose lose situation, depending on who is just playing games.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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