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I thought it was normal to think that anytime a guy passes by you on the street or in college , he might grope you. Around men who weren't immediate family members and sometimes then too , I always feared being groped or molested. I'm also scared of being abused by a guy , being alone or even being vulnerable. Idk if it's because I was molested a few times as a child by someone I trusted. I'm so scared on how I'll be able to be in a relationship with a guy this way? Any advice??
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Not all guys are the same. But doesn't mean not to always use caution. Always carry pepper spray with you out on dates or whatever. I never felt comfortable with guys. But I'm starting to feel the same way about women too. You're going to tell whatever guy you start talking to you need to take things really slow. If they can't give you that, their not worth your time. Guys are kinda pushy when it comes to sex.
ReplyI agree! I am so glad someone acknowledged female predators. They also can be pedos, but admittedly less common.
And, yes, the behavoir does differ; woman won't make it obvious which makes it more stressful.
But, also the female sex is rather weirdly obsessed with romance and such. And, even if they personally don't get sexual gratification from something/someone they might still be creepy towards their friends or colleagues/peers relationships.
ReplyI totally understand being cautious of men. I only feel comfortable around a few men in my life including my boyfriend. Don’t worry about being in a relationship with a guy. Your fear of men is valid.
The best course of action is to take things really slow when talking to or going on dates with guys. The more time you spend with him and the more you see of who he is as a man and how he acts will shape if you should still be cautious or not. The kind of man you need to be with will not mind taking it slow and will view your trust as something very important and will do what he can to make you feel comfortable and safe. Those men exist, do not settle for less. When you find that man, you will start to realize that you feel comfortable with him naturally. When you’re with the right man, you won’t feel afraid.
ReplyHi thank you everyone for your kind and genuine comments and advice regarding my post. I understand that it's not all men , I've got a few good role models and I've known a few nice guys but it's still a bit scary . Thank you again for your lovely comments, appreciate it <3
ReplyAs someone with a similar past, it's best to adress areas of concern. This website is one of the few free options, but as I've used it more isn't the best.
Once you're able to, you should invest money towards a therapist.
EVERYONE CAN BENIFIT FROM THERAPY!
It's nothing to be ashamed of...
You might want to consider online therapy. Seems like it will be best for you. Once you chosen your method, you can talk about you feelings & thoughts with the doctor. And, they can guide you and help you build trust and/or confidence.
It's ok if you don't feel a therapist is compatible with you. It's not unheard of.
I get it's pricy, but once can adress and confront your stuggles you can start building yourself up.
YOU DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE.
And, I don't want anymore people suffering like I do.
Also make sure to invest in reasonable security messures for the outside of your personal spaces. It will help give you piece of mind.
Oh!
And, along with the recommended self denfense items, try seeing if anyone trusted can walk with you olaces, especially if it's far from where you're staying. or if it's an unfamiliar place.
ReplyHi thank you so much for your swet comment. I'm sorry you went through something similar to me :(. I am considering therapy . Thankfully my parents are pretty protective so they don't let me use taxis or even public transport lol , they usually make sure I'm dropped to places if let's say I'm going to meet a friend and usually stay in contact with me in such situations or when they're not around. While some people find this a bit too much , with my past it's helpful. Thank you for your advice btw , God bless<3
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