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I turned 30 this year but I am so tired of life already. I am mostly alone and my friend circle has been shrinking with almost every passing year. I haven't been with someone for almost a decade and I don't see myself getting into one. Although I say to myself that I prefer and cherish this solitude, I think deep down I know that I am lonely. I say to myself that I cannot do relationships because I like to be independent, but I also think that maybe I am just too scared to open up to someone due to the fear of judgement. I think I fear that once a person will get to know me then they will just leave.
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You have low self esteem and this is why you think so lowly of yourself. Look in a mirror every day and tell yourself how great you are and how you are as good as everyone else, and even better than some. Say this over and over every day until you believe it.
ReplyYou've discovered the tragedy of aging. It's not that our bodies get older, it's that our minds get older and that means less inclined to jump out there and be impulsive, outgoing and open. Likely because we've learned of all the pain that can come from these things. When we're young and amongst our peers there is safety, because they're all as confused as we are. But after a certain age you're not allowed to be confused, or unsure of ourselves, or directionless. Everyone who's 30+ is expected to have their entire life planned out and built already. Friend circles shrink because everyone has taken a different course, or for those of us who haven't figured out our course, we're adrift alone.
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