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it doesnt occur to me much anymore that he's actually gone, honestly I don't even wanna think about everything that happened because its still too painful to think about what happened. I feel so disgusting for being like this though, I can't help my ma when she's hurting. Lost my grandad a month ago, but she lost her dad. And today she was looking at his photos and it's just like a memory you'll never forget about. She's had it much worse than me, but I hate how I feel like I cant do anything to help. All I did was just sit there with her and slightly hug her and reassure her that it's okay. What more can I do? As much of a sad time it was, I wanna forget it. Keeping onto the pain just makes me feel miserable. Might not seem bad to you, but I had to go a few months without seeing my ma when her dad passed away since she had to go to him ASAP. Had people worsening everything, "hows it like without your ma?" asking me that is js disgusting. Like how do u think it'll be for you when the person you trust and talk to the most is just away from you for a while? You'll feel dead inside and js miserable. I remember non stop crying literally like a week straight (which I've never even done before) because I felt lost, and alone. No more grandad that I can talk to, and no more ma I can comfort, or help out. And now I'm stuck with all this, I've never felt like this before. Feels weird, and I hate it.
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I hope everything goes well in your life soon.
ReplyHugs for you. 🫂
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