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I feel like there was a mask I didnt know I had that suddenly slipped and fell to shatter. A very pretty and very thin glass mask that contoured my face perfectly, but a mask nonetheless. The face underneath feels raw and its burning.
I dont think ive been honest with myself or anyone in many things. I cant let go of many things that have happened, I dont think I enjoy many of the things I do, I've been stuck on many things and people to not be alone but that ends up making me feel hollow. I feel like ive been living a life I'm convincing myself that I want or that im okay with. Ive prided myself in being who I am, but have I just been running on autopilot? I can't see myself in the mirror anymore. What of that is actually sincere or genuine? I don't think im living anymore. I want to die and I feel like I have to kill the person who I am now.
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youve been coping the only ways you know how. be gentle with yourself. you will find your way. what needs to fall away will fall away, your core will remain. <3
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