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For a very long time I have been unable to feel truly happy. I have moments of happiness but they feel more like the “calm before the storm”. I worked really hard to be able to afford the things I like and want hoping those things would make me feel better and now realize those things aren’t making me feel any happier. Sometimes I wonder if I should end it all and hope I get a second chance to do it all over but better. I feel sometimes that I’ve messed my life up so much that I can’t fix it. From the outside looking in people would wonder what do I have to complain about and that makes it even harder. I can’t go to most people and tell them what I’m going through because they see it as momentary feeling because “my life is so good” in their opinion. I feel like I’m on a depressive island all alone. I want to get real help and I’m trying (therapy) but nothing is working. I sometimes think the only reason I’m still here is because of my children. I feel like I’m just waiting for them to become self sufficient in the future and then I’d feel more comfortable stopping this.
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