My Timed Entry

Me and my boyfriend (who was is boy best friend) got back together not too long ago. We broke up because of personal reasons I'd rather not share. Now, we're back together but we barely speak as "lovers" only ever as friends. Such as, I'm the only one saying "I love you" and he only says it when I say it. I know this is most likely considered cheating but I'm gaining feelings for one of his friends. I used to like this friend but I lost my feelings, thinking I never had a chance, since he was sort of the popular boy, dating the popular girl (who I am not on good terms with). But recently, I've seen him staring at me when I laugh or smile with my friends, or when we're walking to the next period, or even in some classes together. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. But if he doesn't consider us together, should I even stay with him? He makes me laugh and all of that but when we were dating before, it was... magical? We would talk 24/7 or even just a little bit a day, going on and on. Now, I have to even just ask his friends if he's alright. At school, he doesn't talk to me as much as before. This friend of his and I ran into each other while walking to the nurse. He asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend and I said yes. He asked why I was and we had a small conversation, which was a bit fun. Now I don't want to admit these feelings because everyone knows I'm in love with my boyfriend and these are really small feelings. But one of my best friends noticed today about his behavior, the smiling, the staring. I denied it, but she would barely believe me. But of course she shrugged it off. I feel guilty thinking about this. Liking two guys was never my thing, especially when you're dating one of them. I know this is stupid and probably not what this site is for, but I just wanted to vent a little bit.