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Hi. I'm currently waiting for the results of the exam from a job application. It is actually my second time applying for the same agency and obviously, I did not make it the first time. This makes me feel more nervous because of all the what ifs in my mind. WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE IT AGAIN? WHAT IF THEY DON'T WANT ME? WHAT IF I DON'T GET HIRED? I hate thinking about it especially that my family has been supporting me all this time. I've been jobless since I graduated. I've been wihsing to still be a student since those days, i had a clear and specific goal whihc is to graduate. but now, finding work and purpose in life is not really a clear and specific goal for me. I am trying but the situation i am in won't even let me have a job. I'm stuck in this quarter life crisis.
It's hard to stay positive when all i've been experiencing is negative.
Last night, I watched a TEd Talk about quarterlife crisis and questions in life of those 20-something people. Livi Redden said those young adults all have something in common: "A FEELING OF BEING CONSTANTLT AT WAR WITH THEIR MINDS"
This is so true to me. I am constantly at war with my mind. I think about why my life is like this..why did my life at my twenties did not turn out the way I imagined it to be when I was in high school? why do i feel like im being left behind by my peers? why have i become like this? pathetic loser, unemployed, and just useless? Although I told myself to become a good daughter for my mother, it still doesn't feel enough without me having a job after all those years of sending me to law school. I know I am not a troublemaker but at the same time, I dont really give any benefit/advantage. I'm just existing...but why does it feel that even existing without a clear purpose is a sin?
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ReplyFirst of all existing without a clear purpose is not SIN okay ? Somethings take time just don't give up.
You failed first time and you tried again right ? So this time it will definitely work okay ?
Just believe it and Even if you lose or win your fam will support you forever okay ?
Just trust the process ā¤
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