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Remembering the time I was telling my boyfriend how much my weight affects me and I'm gonna start really working on it this year because I've been the same weight since middle school but look bigger, he told me he loves me the way I am and it doesn't bother him. I'm glad it doesn't but she said "I like it. I think if suits you." I responded with, "I don't want it to suit me." I don't. I don't want to be suited as fat. I see all these perfect girls in the perfect clothes and perfect weight and I don't know why that can't be me. I know I wasn't talking about this at first but my weight is also the reason I don't really want to be intimate with him when we'll be able to live together. I have hyper pigmentation between my boobs, inner thighs and armpits and it's so embarrassing. There's people bigger than me that don't have that at all so why me? I honestly want to lose weight as fast as possible because my weight has been affecting me ever since I was a kid. I'm 5'3 and 182 pounds. Im tired of how I look. I don't want to go to the gym I'm too nervous scared of people so I'd rather do at home workouts and I have a home treadmill.
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The only way you can lose weight and keep it off is by making new lifestyle changes. Even if you could take a pill and wake up thin you would still need to eat right and exercise. The need will NEVER go away. You have to figure out things you can do that you want to keep doing. If you go on a strict diet and exercise plan you end up failing because you hate it, it's hard, and you miss things from your life. A better thing to do is to incorporate ONE healthy habit a week. Start on a Monday, and try it every day, and if you can easily incorporate it into your life do another one next week, or do another week with the first one. SMALL THINGS. Like parking farther away. taking the stairs. Look at your actual daily life and figure out the little things you can do. Try to eat 1 cup of leafy green vegetables a day. Keep your usual diet, but insist on having that cup. you'll find you have to change your meals. And you will be thinking about how in incorporate things instead of depriving yourself. Eventually you will have lots of healthy lifestyle things in your own life that work for you. It will take a while. You will be adjusting it for the rest of your life. Your healthy/fit journey will be with you always. Embrace it. But only do one thing at a time and don't feel guilty about what you're not doing 'cause you'll get to it eventually. But this week you're working on 'morning stretches'.
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