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so i had a best friend for seven years, and we were VERY codependent. and at times, a little homoerotic but we never kissed or had sex. anyway, i cut her off after years of her being a shitty friend. it was extremely hard for the both of us, actually i went through 3 therapists before i had the courage to cut her off. it’s been 5 months, and it’s gotten to the point where i don’t think about her everyday or really miss her. i’m going to be seeing her soon again for prom and a mutual friend’s party soon though, and i keep having dreams about her. last night i had a dream about her taking my virginity. and this wasn’t the first time i’ve had a dream like that. i know im a lesbian, but i don’t even like her like that. i don’t know if this is the right place to talk about this, but i’m really confused and it’s starting to seriously get to me. what’s wrong with me?
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I am not sure for I would like to consider myself for now as someone who doesn't necessarily delve deeper into romantic stuff, but from what you have said, it could go on two ways? First, you don't actually like her, but you keep dreaming about her taking away your virginity because there is a part of you that kind of romanticized what happened between the two of you? Kind of trying to trick you brain into thinking and seeing what happened between the two of you in a different perspective? Or second, it could be your frustration about what happened to the two of you that you keep dreaming about her that way? But I am not really sure. I have talked to some friends before and they have told me that when you like someone, it is inevitable that you will have erotic dreams with them. I am not sure, but try to think of your feelings. Is it your mind telling you that you have liked her all along and that cutting her off for your peace of mind was difficult to do before because there is a part of you that wants to remain with her for a very long time? Could it be like or just the feeling of losing someone you treasured in the form of friendship? Our minds can be tricky, but it sure is telling us something we don't really tend to acknowledge within ourselves :).... I am sorry I can't help that much, I would classify myself as straight and even then, I don't have much experiences with falling in love, but I do have an idea and I hope that can be helpful, it has come from my observations with the people around me and from the lessons I have learned from my loved ones. I hope I can kind of shed some light and I hope you will be better :))
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