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My work and family life are both toxic. My mom cannot take NO for an answer, can she blame me for being skeptic about everything she does? Imagine her saying if I don't get what I want I will forge your signature. Make yourself available. It's a fucking threat.
I cannot breathe, even work is killing me. My head does passive aggressive shit towards me just because Im in a probationary position and I don't exude the eager i want you to like me energy newbies usually do. I did well at work before but he doesn't like that so i mellowed down. Now that I adjusted, he's saying passive aggressive stuff at meetings like me not being needed after including me in the call and him saying he cannot rely at me that much - after purposely ommitting me at some meetings. Like where would I stand if you keep usoing your power play bullshit on me.
Why is it that everyone around me likes doing power play on me? Like I am stupid? Like is everyone so pathetic that they like to use their power to feel a sense of control over their sad lives? I haven't done anything to provoke them, I just do what I have to do. But what they want me to salivate in their presence and make them feel superior? So fucking annoying.
And my mom not acknowledging that I have the right to know what i am signing for. I don't trust her shit. She's the most selfish person I ever met. And the friend who referred me this job I'm sure she's sucking up her ass to the head and not telling me side comments the head is saying about me. I don't even know how much information she told about my personal life to them. All I know is my goal is to stay max 1 year and leave. Because there will always be a better workplace. Someday I will get myy own place and a good working environment because everything now is shitty as hell.
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Stand up to these people that you work with. I had a woman who made bitchy comments to me until I got sick of them and told her that if she kept it up I would arrange to have her bones broken. Then she stopped. At another place I worked a stupid bitch called Fat Kerry decoded to give me a lecture about something and I got sick of listening to her and told her if she kept going I would put her through the fucking wall. Then she ran away and disappeared for an hour. I am a woman and only 5' 1" tall so if I can do this so can you. Show them that you are not to be reckoned with.
ReplyYou'll learn to set boundaries and this will be communicated through a combination of your great work ethic and body language. It's a balancing act with the goal being to keep your job until you're ready to leave on your terms. WRT your mom - all I can say is communication is key in close relationships; that and you only have one. Hopefully the 2 of you can communicate with compassion and love. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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