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How feelings work? When I was 18 I actually fell for a boy who's one year older than me. He's a flirt and I have heard all kind of rumors about him but still fell for him over and over again. I was madly in love. One day we started talking and exchanged our numbers. Talking to him became a routine. Then one day I got to know about what he has done in the past with proof and those people warned me to be safe saying he's just fooling you around. I was shocked and sad but still decided to give him a chance. I opened up about this with him and asked what happened. I even said that I don't care about how you were in the past as long as you're transparent with me. But he was constantly bluffing, and he didn't accept until the very end. He said that others are spreading rumors about him and destroying his image. But we both knew what happened there. I still felt like he should be a part of my life. I love the way he teases me, we fight like tom and jerry, his cheesy words and everything about him. He was in a real low state by that time when his friends were starting degree. But I wanted to be there with him cheer him up and support him. But turned out he wasn't ready for a honest commitment. It broke my heart to take the decision of ending things. I even has said my dad that I loved him and when things went down and when dad asked me what happened I lied and backed up his name. Didn't want to ruin anything for him. But I did a stupid thing by saying okay to another person thinking that would hurt my ex. But turned out the second person is actual gem. And my ex and him are best buddies. I told everything to him and how I stupidly gave my word without thinking about how it would affect him. Then we took things slow and we now in a relationship of 5 years. There were moments I had to talk with my ex. He said he sees me as a good friend. He has a gf now. But these years weren't easy for me. He still saying that those were rumors, and he has this guilt of not stopping me and put effort for our relationship. I think I still care for him. I never hated him till now even after everything I've gone through. Is it normal to still think about my first love? Am I missing my first love or am I missing the old me? Why first love is always like this? Will I ever get over this? I need your opinions!!!
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How feelings work? When I was 18 I actually fell for a boy who's one year older than me. He's a flirt and I have heard all kind of rumors about him but still fe...
Yes, you will get over this. Try meeting someone else.
ReplyIs it normal; I think so. But you should probably re-frame your thoughts about your first love given you have moved on and he has moved on. Don't dwell on "what if"; instead look at it as lessons learned, mistakes not to be repeated. Communication is critical in a committed relationship. So strengthen your communication in your current relationship, and let the love, trust and commitment grow. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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