i feel bad but i'm getting really exhausted.

i'm sorry, i just had to let this out.

My mom feels really tired and so i am. My dad always pestered mom for not being able to get a job before. He made fun of mom not getting a job and looking down at her because she got diploma but unemployed. I watched and heard him do that to my mom, and evrytime, i always wanted to speak up for her. She tried so so much to get a job. Every night, i watched her getting stressed submitting her resume, hoping someone will noticed her. She applied a lot, waited for so long for an email that says an interview. She has been interviewed many times but got rejected afterall. Since my dad had to work for my family, there are times when he is ranting about how expensive and how we no longer have money for the next days, that's the time when he would put the blame to my mom for not having a job unlike the other mom that he knows that have a job. Hearing that breaks my heart because i knew how hard it is for mom as well. I understand that my dad feels that way but he doesnt have to blame my mom for that. It's not like she wanted to be unemployed forever? She borrowed money from everyone she knows even though she don't want to. She is also embarrased for borrowing money but she does it anyways for us. .

Now, my mom already got a job. My father becomes unemployed when my mom got employed. My dad experienced to take care of us and the house chores my mom did for how many years and not even a day that he did not rant about our house being a mess because of my things for uni. He said my things are all over the place that he cannot clean. Well, my mom can clean that before? She managed to take care of us while doing house chores so why cant u, dad? She do cooking, preparing for you everytime u go to work early in the morning, preparing our school uniforms and house chores at the same time but u can't, dad. And before, you are telling mom that that's all she's doing and she feels tired? YEAH WELL SHE WILL FEEL TIRED. Doing all that isn't as easy as you think it is. Now you know the struggle she's been through, dad. You can't even do it all. We even had to do it for you often.

Not even mentioning you cheated on mom several times already. You've seen and talked to ither woman lately, maybe last month? I knew about it because i've seen mom cry about it. She told me while going home that someone told her they saw u in a car with a woman. Then i remembered my mom asking if she can come but u declined. She asked you why not because youre just going to deliver a small parcel, there will be a lot of space but you said trash reasons and even cursed word. explaing. That time, i knew already something is up but i didnt tell mom. I knew my mom knew about it also. i can sensed you will do someting stupid and you really did. My mom broke really bad that day she knew . She didnt talked to you for 2 weeks. the house was so quiet that 2 weeks. Were all in the same room but its so quiet because of your stupidness. You hve children and a wife. You still did it anyways.

I had to say it because i can no longer hide my anger. I have no strength to tell this to others so i had to do it here even though i dont want to. STOP BEING A CHILD DAD. STOP PUTTING BLAME ON MOM. I KNOW YOU LOVE HER BUT SOMETIMES YOUR LOVE FOR HER IS A PAIN FOR US.