Disappointment daughter

My dad called me a disappointment again, and then told me not to be mad at him. I know I’m not the best person alive or anything, but I’m trying really hard. I’m battling severe health issues in the hardest major at the hardest college, and I feel so lonely. I have friends I never get to see because I’m so busy all the time. He never sees how hard I work at things, and seems to resent me just in general. If I do anything that looks like I could enjoy it, like wear a nice shirt because I want to feel better, he’ll call me self obsessed. If I see a friend for ten minutes once every three months, I’m very clearly not serious about anything and should just drop out. He called me the biggest mistake he’s ever made. I feel very quietly like there is just something wrong with me and I’ll never do anything right. I know I shouldn’t look for approval, but I just wish he wasn’t so mean to me. I wish he wouldn’t tell me. I know I’m not his favorite without him ever saying anything. He accuses me of things I’ve never done or said and there’s really nothing I can say. I can’t apologize for gossiping because I don’t gossip, I can’t apologize for stealing because I don’t steal, I can’t apologize for taking drugs because I don’t. I think I’m okay. I’m very focused on school and I care a lot about other people. I do a lot for my family, I keep us healthy and fed and handle anything given to me. I just wish I wasn’t told how big of a disappointment I was all the time. I know I could be better. It doesn’t matter to him how hard I try. I just can’t stop crying lately.