Boring Individual

All my life, I was really boring and no one wanted to be with me. My mom is all cheerful, and she's the soul of this home. When I'm with my dog, I get sad that he cries like dogs do but I don't know how to entertain him. I guess I'm a pretty shitty person. But I am gonna blame my parents for this one, and I don't care. I have no substance, no joy; I'm just miserable and my face gives it away. This and much more I want to complain about. I just gave up on trying in life, I'd much rather complain. Because when I try, it's distressing. I'm lost in an odyssey of atoms and particles that constitute everything, and I just feel alien. Killing yourself might not be the answer, process wise, but end wise it really is. I wanna put my miserable existence to rest. Life is not worth living until it does but mostly is bad, and feelings of future grief really get to me. I can't picture this life without my mom or all alone. I want to kill myself thinking about it.