Negging

I wake up daily to the sounds of scissortails and negging. I live in my car with my "husband" I wake up to backhanded compliments and criticism wrapped in jokes I just stay quiet and agree every morning I know I'm not a piece of shit but he has a special way of making me feel this way. I often get told I am not a real women or I am weak..I've helped keep us afloat this whole time...I bought him an apartment last year he rather Live in the car unable to maintain a regular life...he puts everyone below him as if he's the smartest person he's ever met I have video of your comments... threats....demands you constantly questioning my intelligence while u silence me... silencing me something he has definitely gotten away with and now has filled his head to the brim with ego and narcissism I can't tell whos ruined who you with your control and god complex or me enabling you to the point of complete disrespect....I often feel not worthy of daily relationship things (I don't get to hold hands or kiss or cuddle) like I have earn them..which is how I want our dynamic could never be normal as u think of me below you I live at a library in my car that I own I want to drown in my books and forget you've ruined me to this point ..I fall asleep every night to the sounds of cicadas and your negging 🌕