first time

My first time was with a guy that was not even my boyfriend. This might sound stupid, but I didn't really care of losing my virginity. My perspective of losing it was that "your first time it's not that important" like some people say, I mean at first when I started dating it was completely different, I used to believe that your first time should be special and with someone you really love but that started to change after I kept getting hurt over and all over again, I also started to realize that some guys only wanted pictures of your body (felt used) and not real love. At the end I got scared of getting hurt and not receiving the same affection that I gave

I kind of gave up in love but not completely by that I mean I still have hope that I will find someone one day but not right now or in a few years or who knows but anyways. going back to the topic of doing it for the first time with a guy that was not even my boyfriend QUICK STORY SHORT we started talking and he would tell me that he liked me (the thing is I didn't like him nor disliked him) and that after getting his life together he would ask me out (started to get my hopes up bc he was really niceeee, he would open the door of his car for me)but anyways we kept talking, things got far with him(if you know you know lolz)we even planned to have sex. Out of nowhere one day he ignored and until the next day he told me that he wanted a day to rest and that he didn't text anyone. (It happened again not too long ago) omgosh but the thing is that he posted a girl on his Instagram story and I was like the girlfriend? he didn't reply for a couple of days I lowkey got hurt bc I felt like he played me, but then he replied to a story of mine, and one day he told me if we could talk but it was all show he wanted to kiss, I was like no thank youuuu. (To summarize it cause the story got long my bad) we had sex, and he hasn't really texted me since then and I don't know what to do or think. (also guys if y'all need more context let me know, cause sometimes i don't make sense)