The results of my own mind.

Im nervous. Im always nervous. When I think about the future, Im nervous. When I force myself into learning something new, Im nervous. when I speak to all those people who are looking at me, judjing, watching, waiting, for me to slip up, Im nervous. Its hard not to be. The anxiety of every action I take sands shoulder to shoulder with me sometimes trying to walk infront of me and block my view from all the people and opertunities that smile at me with bright intention. Why? Why do I always get this way even when I know that everythings gonna be alright? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that im paranoid and always self depricating to make myself stay humbe. I want to humble myself till I become the person im proud of. If I pick my head up now Ill lose my progress. I think I just answered my own question. Its RESULTS. I see more results when I put myself down and I feel more accomplished. I hate failing so I always set the bar on the ground so I am always far above it. If i never believe in myself I can never let myself down. It works. It shows results. Results that dont make me sad. Every bar I set is to low to fall under. Its always the results. No matter what I do its for positive effective RESULTS.