Home

The dreary atmosphere of sighs from teens like me hangs in the air.

I wanna go home, I think, as the teacher's voice fades, talking of things I had done moments ago.

I feel like a blade of grass in a field trembling, thinking only of imaginary wind.

The wind whispers and grumbles of what I am not.

It snickers at me while dancing around me; it mocks my dreams and who I am.

The gray clouds of woe came and won’t go away; I just got here, how long must I stay?

My heart argues with itself as I stand watching it.

Watching as I always do.

And when I make mistakes and fail, I’d wish my heart would go away, but I need it still.

The sun rises and falls and time passes by but still my heart terrorizes me.

I deal with the same woes as others do.

I deal with the same woes as others did and will again.

So why must I sigh?

Why is this poem so long?

Why does it take so many words to write the groans of my heart?

Someday I will learn the careful craft of saying little and yet much.

Like God does.

I wanna go home. My heart longs for more.

But…

If I stayed home, where would I find the smile of opportunity?

If I stayed home, how would I give hope?

Where is my home?

It’s not here. Not on this planet they call home.

He is in my soul.

He sings in the words of the good book.

He whispers the promises I hold precious.

He holds my heart so dear.

And when I look to the sky, I see Him written everywhere.

God is my home, And home I will never forget.

My heart is written in God’s heart,

My heart is written on a piano’s keys,

My heart is written on a canvas,

My heart is written in others I meet,

My heart is written on my dreams,

My heart is written on this white background.

I wanna go home, I think,

As I sit under artificial lights,

As the angels watch us all groan,

As I walk down the crowded halls,

As I look at the clouds float effortlessly above our heads,

As I tremble when others are aware I exist, wishing I were invisible,

As I try to hold my composure,

As my eyes meet with a boy’s eyes hoping he does not like me,

As I take a deep breath and stand up to say something against evil,

As I watch and learn from others going about life,

As I try to lead and make things better,

As I dream of better things and hope for eternity,

As the tears cascade down my face,

As God watches and holds me,

As every single human repeats the same things over again as time predicted.

And as I get back up again to walk in this dreary land.

I wanna go home,

But my home is here in my soul.

He goes before me, he goes after me and he goes with me.

Somewhere else in this small world,

Someone is crying too.

Somewhere else the sun is shining,

The rain is pouring,

Someone else is looking at the stars,

Someone else is watching a sunset,

Another is watching a sunrise,

Someone else is watching the clouds,

Someone else is pouring out their heart,

Someone else is dancing,

A bird is flying somewhere,

Someone is wondering who they are,

Someone else is wondering if people even remember them

And everywhere God is there.

He is waiting on, watching, helping and loving, correcting everyone else and I.

When I think back on moments I cherish, I hold them tight.

I know I’ll blink and they’ll be gone.

My memories sing of ghosts.

They come dancing, singing and fly away like the wind.

They leave a fading song of once was.

I remember people I once saw,

All of them like a note in my song of life,

Wondering if they remember me,

Wondering if they too will be free.

Free to finally find home.

Home in the heart of the Most High King.