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Husbands in National Guard, still wants me to have fun. What do I do?
1 month ago · 6 · Need Advice, +3 · Explicit
124
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now. I am 23 and he is 30. When we are together we have quite an active sex life and can’t get enough of each other. But lately there has been a change in him. I would say about the last 8-9 months or so. He is in the National Guard and a few of his friends do the whole wife swapping thing and when he found out about this he immediately was intrigued. He asked me if I would be willing to try it with him and a few of his friends but I wasn’t really interested in it at the time and didn’t want it to ruin our relationship. He brought me over to one of his friends parties and a few of their girlfriends talked to me and told me it was fun, enjoyable, and actually strengthened their relationship. I didn’t really see how that could be the case… well maybe the fun and enjoyable part, but I don’t get how that could strengthen a relationship. So I passed on it. Now my husband is away and when we get alone time on the phone he begs me to sleep with one of his friends or someone else and tell him all about it. He says that since we cant have sex he wants me to still be able to enjoy myself and he can get his pleasure from that. He has been very vocal that this would be a huge turn on for him. I am not sure what I should do. A few of his friends have come over to check in with me and see if I needed anything and have hit on me and tried to get something to happen, but I haven’t caved in yet, although I almost did one time. Is he just testing me or is he really into this idea??? What should I do??? Has anyone else done anything like this??? Can it make a relationship stronger??? Thank you so much for your help, but I haven’t really been with to many people.
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Is this common for a lot of military families? I know it used to be.
ReplyIt will destroy trust. Don't do it.
Replyokay but he keeps begging me to do it and talks about how hot it would be. I think he wants to be part of his crowd. Maybe he gets turned on by the idea of me or maybe he really just wants one of the other chicks. IDK. It has been very tempting though. I have even thought about just saying I did it and make up the whole thing to see how he reacts.
ReplyDo you have experience with this yourself or know anyone that does?
ReplyMy husband and I have done a few swaps before. Our first swap was nerve wracking but after that it gets better. Overall it has been a positive experience. It hasn’t caused any issues between us and if anything there is an increase in passion when we come back together from a swap. The only thing I recommend is making sure you have trust in each other, you’re comfortable in your relationship, and set any rules you may want, such as: I’m not okay with kissing, I’m not okay with anal, Protection must be used, etc. you know, whatever rules you two want to agree on and then make it clear to the other couple and listen to any rules they may have. If you do this then relax and have fun, but be safe at the same time. This is totally up to you and your husband. There is no right or wrong, all there is is what other people perceive to be right and wrong. Any other questions let me know okay.
ReplyDid you not mean your marriage vows when you said them? Most vows don't include being OK with extra-marital sex. Shows how you think the vows are meaningless.
Reply