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I always thought friendships were simple- until I met Bryce. He was a tornado of contradictions, the kind of guy who could be both the nicest person in the world and the meanest, all in a single breath. “Nice hair today! Did you wake up and decide to join a rock band?” His tone was light, and I knew he was joking, but still, there was a part of me that wanted to retort, “At least I’m not wearing the same hoodie for the third day in a row!”
Yet, despite his jabs, Bryce had a heart of gold. He was the type of guy who was brutally honest, always giving me the most straightforward opinions I’d ever received. If my outfit wasn’t flattering, he’d tell me—kindly but directly. “Hey you’re cute but that top isn’t doing you any favors,” he’d say with a smirk. I appreciated that he always put my feelings first, even if it sometimes meant delivering tough love wrapped in sarcasm.
Then there were the moments that truly showed me how special he was. One night, after a party at a friend’s house, I found myself tipsy and a bit too emotional. My head was spinning with thoughts, and I was feeling vulnerable, so when we got to the car I told him, half-expecting him to laugh it off and ignore my request for help. Instead, he was already prepared, Gatorade in hand, concern etched on his face. “You need to hydrate, champ,” he said, his voice softening. I couldn’t help but smile at his caring nature, even as I felt slightly embarrassed.
After making sure I drank enough liquid, he insisted on driving me to Taco Bell. “You need some real food,” he declared, and I couldn’t argue with that logic. As we sat in the dim light of the drive-thru, munching on cheesy steak quesidillas and sipping on my Gatorade, I felt like the luckiest person in the world. “You know, you’re really something, Bryce,” I said, looking over at him. “You’re the nicest mean guy I know.”
He grinned, that familiar mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m basically the best.” I felt a warmth in my chest at his words. In those moments, I knew I could always count on him, no matter what.
As the weeks turned into months, my feelings for him began to shift. I watched him navigate his relationship with Sophie, the girl who had somehow now captured all his evil niceness. It was bittersweet to see them together—he made her laugh the way he made me laugh, and every time they held hands, I felt that familiar ache in my chest. I wanted him to be happy, but it hurt to see the connection we had shift.
Every time he made me laugh with a playful jab or offered his honest opinion on something, I felt aache in my stomach, this feeling is no longer just mine. I began to find myself lost in moments we shared, replaying them in my mind like a favorite song. How could I tell him that I was falling in love with him when he seemed so perfectly happy with someone else?
Despite my heartache, I couldn’t help but admire how Bryce always put others first. He made sure I was okay, whether I was dealing with a rough day at school or just needed someone to share a laugh with. “You good?” he’d ask, a genuine concern etched in his features whenever he sensed I was off. It was comforting to know that he noticed, that he cared enough to check in.
And then there were his hugs. His friendly hugs meant so much more to me than he realized. Every time he wrapped his arms around me, I felt a rush of warmth, a fleeting sense of safety. It was like a secret language we shared, and for a moment, it felt like he understood everything I couldn’t say. But with Sophie in the picture, those hugs were laced with a bittersweet tension. I craved them, even as I knew I had to keep my feelings buried.
I started to navigate my feelings with a mix of gratitude and sadness. I tried to be supportive, cheering him on whenever he mentioned Sophie, but every mention of her was a reminder of my unspoken feelings. I was stuck in this strange limbo, torn between wanting him to be happy and wishing it could be with me.
Then came the night he surprised me again. We were hanging out, just the two of us, when he turned the conversation to his relationship. “Sophie’s great,” he said, and I felt a knot in my stomach. “But I’m glad I have you in my life too.”
I looked at him, my heart racing. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?” I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, his gaze steady. “I can always count on you, and that means everything.”
And there it was—the acknowledgment of our friendship that made me both grateful and heartbroken. I wanted to scream that I loved him, that he meant more to me than he could possibly know. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it, afraid of losing what we already had.
As time went on, I found myself learning to love him from a distance. As time went on, I felt the need to distance myself, hoping it would ease the ache in my heart. Our daily calls turned into weekly check-ins, and we started hanging out less frequently. I convinced myself it was for the best; after all, I needed to give him space to be happy with Sophie. It was hard to watch him flourish in a relationship that wasn’t with me, but I knew deep down that love doesn’t always mean possession. Sometimes it’s about letting go and wishing the best for the person you care about, even if it means stepping back from the closeness we once shared.
Eventually, I came to realize that while I might have lost a piece of myself in the process, I also gained a deeper understanding of what it means to truly care for someone. He might have been my heartbreak, but he also showed me the beauty of friendship, the strength of resilience, and the importance of holding on to the good moments, even when they hurt.
With every laughter shared and every tear shed, I learned to embrace my feelings for Bryce, quietly. Even if we never crossed that line into something more, I knew that our friendship was a treasure—a beautiful, complicated mess that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. In the end, I would always be grateful for the time we share, even if his love belongs to someone else.
I just wish it only belonged to me.
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Awww. You seem great. You did nothing wrong and this post was a joy to read. I'm in Bryce's position right now, as my childhood best friend's other friend just told me my best friend had a crush on me. I have a girlfriend. And he is friends with my girlfriend, so he is choosing to not interfere. And I love him for that. He is still close with me but understands my boundaries. I love him so much, but not romantically.
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