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I open messages, and I see “read at 2:20 pm.” The first thing I feel is embarrassment; then it quickly turns into searing hot anger. I feel embarrassed because I put myself out there and risked being vulnerable only for it to feel like he doesn’t care. I get angry because I see the little girl in me hurting from feeling abandoned, almost like im never enough to be chosen.
I get angry and embarrassed. How dare you make me feel like I need to prove myself. How dare I set myself up for disappointment and hurt. How dare I question my worth and feel so small. The shame? Pitiful. Stand up.
A pause
I remember, I can endure.
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