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I'm feeling kind of like an awful human being right now. I don't even know how to describe what happened or why but I'm going to try. I feel like writing about it might help me figure out what to do and how to be better as a person. My grandmother wanted me to help her with setting up a profile picture and she wanted to use a picture of one of her other granddaughters, also my cousin. She has the same name as this cousin so I told her I wouldn't because it would get confusing and asked if she could choose a different one. I guess the truth is I thought it would be weird for her to be wearing that cousin's picture. I think it was a recent picture she wanted to use so..I dunno, I just felt like maybe that cousin might not be ok with it?? I regretted saying that and I regret what I truly felt even more because it's not a thing I should be in charge of. I mean it makes sense, she wants to show people her granddaughter and she likes using her profile picture to do that probably because it's the first thing they see. I should have let her do what she wants with her account, should have helped her with it and not questioned it. It's her profile, she can put whatever she wants on there and I shouldn't tell her what to do with it as it's not my place to tell her what to do. I did end up making her feel bad which is the worst part, a result I really didn't want but should have expected. I tried apologizing and making it right but it's like nothing I said came out right or I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I'm kind of bad at saying what I'm thinking, a lot better at saying things through text because I have more time to plan it out and I can think of what to say without someone thinking I have nothing to say. I don't know but I feel really bad. I guess what I will take from this is I won't tell people what to do with their lives, I won't tell my grandmother what or what not to put on her profile, I will just let her do what she wants and go on with my own life. I guess we're cool now, though, I tried to get her to understand I was sorry but she seems to think it was her fault. I keep trying to tell her it's not her fault but mine or say there's no reason to get this upset over changing a profile picture but it seems to be one of those 'no it's my fault', 'noo, it's MY fault' things so I guess we just need to drop it at this point. So I guess I will just let it blow over as it will but keep in mind what I learned from this and remember it in the future. I don't want to be the person who tells everyone what to do or nitpick at things like what they should have for a profile picture. And I'm definitely not going to be someone who doesn't let people do something just because I don't think they should or I don't like it. I mean I'm not going to help anyone with something that's actually dangerous or could get me in jail but you get what I mean. I will let them do their thing and help if they want me to and I won't judge them for it. I definitely don't want to be like this toward people who should be able to come to me for help, like my grandmother. I want to be better than that. So I will be better.
Note: just a little bit after writing that we had a pretty good talk and I think it made us both feel a little better. So I think we're definitely ok now.
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Well I think you did the right thing if she was using the picture to fool others about who she is.
That is morally wrong and you do have a right to say no.
ReplyI agree with the other person, you did the right thing. You can't please everyone, and the good news is you don't have to.
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