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I don't understand why people become so upset when they learn they're about to die. Are their lives so good? Why are they so connected to daily living? Am I the only one suffering here? I would consider death an improvement. It is sadly so.
I really don't know what to do. I'd be lying if I said I do. Now, I'm hanging around as good as dead, but I'm still alive and that's the biggest problem. Why am I still living with no prospects? Either get your future or die, that is my only prospect. It's a pity I would have rathered living, but living is pain, and frankly mine won't be a living, rather surviving, and that's a shame.
I am thinking, but what is there to think. I tried hard for naught, and it would be stupid to go on like this. It seems, all through my life, people will walk over me, they'll take what is mine and obstruct my improvement in every way possible. I'm tired of this pattern. And, I don't wanna live like this. What a nightmarish way of living, I think.
Some people get whatever they want from this world, then they waste it, and they get greedy and start manipulating people to get some more. They never get punished for what they did. They never seem to lose their luck. And then, there are people like me, who have always done everything right and got punished for it. They never seem to get anything they want, and luck doesn't seem to come anywhere near them. What are we supposed to learn with this arrangement?
I want what I want, I want what I need. Any arrangement that interferes with it, is against my improvement. And of course, it is illogical to live in oppression.
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