I need validation

I was told that it is discouraging to help me because I snap sometimes over small things. I get triggered and get upset sometimes and because of that it's discouraging to help me. Someone close told me this and I can understand why but the second I read that message my heart broke. It took me years to open up and ask for help and now that I am I feel like im hard to love, I feel unlovable. Im scared to talk to someone else now. Why am I hard to love. I don't rely on anyone to fix to me and I don't expect them to drop everything when im in distress and I understand that it's not easy dealing with someone like me, I never thought hearing those word would hurt this bad. I've been having anxiety attacks almost every day since I was told this and I don't know how to fix it or what to do. I haven't tried to self harm in months and now the thought won't leave my head and im scared because no one helps. Doctors just keep me there for hours until i tell them that I don't feel like that anymore, what good is that. Im sorry for being a mess, im sorry for being hard to love, im working on myself and trying to be better.