Having it rough mentally

It doesn't matter... you are just gonna overlook this probably. Everyone just overlooks. We like getting carried away. To be quite honest I don't even understand songs in my own language. I don't put much thought into things. Why is life like this, or why am I like this? We ignore so many signs. Everyone knows deep inside, but I don't know... is the world just dying, or have I been too much time inside? Probably definitely the latter. I'm like too aware. My head is spinning around. Always something replaying in my head. Frankly I would like a place for my head to rest. Maybe I need to start taking naps. I'm in constant control. I make too much sense. Then there's other times where I tell myself that I'm gonna become careless, but I simply cannot give up my survival. I don't know... is existence laughing at me? I'm always worrying about something and feel the need to stand my ground. It's always someone. I have these battles in my head with people, and I'm constantly with this pushy behavior that I need to go far or push my mind to the limit. Everything feels rough or like it's low-key talking to me in a rough manner, and trying to bring me down underlyingly... it's like I can feel people's hatred from afar.